A Travellerspoint blog

November 2007

Cubicle Chika...

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I was doing my business (jumejebs) in the CR the other day, when the other stall-door opened and I could hear my neighbor making himself comfortable in the other cubicle.

When suddenly, my neighbnor spoke to me:

"Buquir! Ikaw ba yan?"

"She-ra?"

"Ako nga, nakita kita pumasok dito so I followed you..." She-ra said.

I was silent. I didn't know how to react to this honestly.

Then I asked, "Ummmm, so bakit mo ako sinundan?"

"May chika ako," She-ra said.

I sighed, "And this couldn't wait five minutes???"

"Juicy eh!" he answered, giggling.

At this point, we were still just the two of us in the CR. Thank GOD.

"So ano na?" I asked him, resigned to the fact that we would really be gossiping in separate stalls.

"Yung friend mong si Faux Hawk ha! Ang landi-landi pala niya!" She-ra whispered loudly.

"Heller, given na yun noh?! Dati ko pang alam na malandi siya, pero anong latest?" I asked.

"Well, apparently, besides having sex with two of your friends, he also had sex with another agent na sobraaaaaang chaka!" She-ra sounded so scandalized.

"Sinooo?" I asked, with bated breath.

But then, someone had entered the bathroom and used the urinal next to us. She-ra and I tried to remain quiet, pero puta, we were giggling inside our stalls like a couple of school girls. I'm sure natakot yung third guy kasi nagmadali siyang lumabas.

As soon as he exited, She-ra stage-whispered, "Si Aqua!"

"Huwaaaat? Eh ang chaki-chaki ng punyemas na yun ah!" I shrieked na parang colegiala lang.

"I knoooow right! May itsura naman tong si Faux Hawk pero ang chaka ng taste niya!" She-ra exclaimed.

She-ra continued, "Baka may pagka-nympho itong friend mo."

"You being the authority on all people who are nymphomaniacs, I'll have to take your word for it," I said, as we both exited our stalls, the comfort room, and went out into the floor, with knowing smiles on our faces.

Posted by callboi 12:42 Archived in Philippines Tagged gay_travel Comments (1)

Nagmamahal, Callboi...

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Surprisingly, people did start emailing me questions...

And these are the ones who have requested that their identities be kept a secret...

PLEASE NOTE THAT I HAVE NOT EDITED THEIR LETTERS IN ANY WAY (GRAMMATICAL OR OTHERWISE).

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An email from a girl codenamed Sweet Tooth:

Dear Callboi,

I have crush on this boy named Mike. He's on same team as me. I think he's gay. What do you think?

Sweet Tooth

Dear Sweet Tooth,

I happen to know Mike. And I knoooow that he is gay. Pero ok lang. Crush lang naman di ba?

It's not like you wanna marry the guy, or something.

Ate, wag ka nang umasa pa na macoconvince mo si Mike na magpakalalake. Mas may chance pa na tumaas ang
CSAT score mo kesa sa maging straight si Mike, or as we fags like to call him, Mikaela.

Love and Libog,

Callboi

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This one's from some guy we shall call Irate Agent:

Dear Callboi,

Pagod na ako sa trabaho ko. Pagod na ako sa kaka-calls. And the worst part? Pagod na ako sa sup ko!

Pakshet siya. Pakshet ang trabahong to. Alam niyo ba? Feeling ko pag nakatangap pa ako ng isa pang irate call magwawala na ako! Papatayin ako ng trabahong to!

Irate Agent

Dear Irate Agent,

Breathe, honey...

Sino pa ba naman ang hindi pagod sa trabahong ito?
Pero honestly speaking, it ain't so bad. What you need is a vacation.

I suggest you try out this new spa called Wensha in Roxas Blvd, near World Trade.
Swear, mura lang siya pero the service and amenities are amazing.

At unlimited iced tea or orange juice itetch!

Or puwede ring ako na lang ang mag-masahe sa iyo...

wachutink?

Kisses and mwahugs,

Callboi

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Posted by callboi 08:54 Archived in Philippines Tagged gay_travel Comments (1)

Sayaw, Lilet! Sayaw!

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The other day, Dookie and I were watching this cable channel which was showing some ballet dancers waltzing around on stage.

"They're so thin," I said, "parang feeling ko, pag humatsing ako sa tabi nila, mababali na yung mga katawan nila. Tapos tignan mo yung isang dancer, kamukha ni Lilet!"

"You'd be surprised how strong most female ballet dancers are, actually," noted Dookie, "Just imagine supporting your whole body weight on just your toes."

I laughed, "Hala! Siguro malalampa ako pag ginawa ko yun!"

"You're so self-deprecating, you know that?" he said to me, seriously.

I scoffed at the idea, "Di naman. It's just that I like making fun of myself. At least nga, kaya kong pagtawanan ang sarili ko. I think it's very healthy.

Dookie decided to change topics then, "So, how's your controversial blog?"

"Ayun, daig pa rin si Cristy Fermin pagdating sa intriga," I replied, "Sometimes, I think it's causing way too much trouble."

"Why? Any problems at work?" he asked.

I lied to him, "Nope. Nothin' I can't handle."

But the truth is, may problema na naman ako. Haaaay. Di ko na alam kung ano gagawin ko.

All I can say is, "I'm holding out for a hero."

Somebody save me.

Posted by callboi 09:14 Archived in Philippines Tagged gay_travel Comments (1)

May maaaanster!!!

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I was walking innocently in front of McDonald's downstairs, on my way home when this one yagit boy suddenly ran up to me, pointing at me with his grubby fingers and shouted:

"Taba! Taba! Taba!"

I replied in a deep and serious voice, with a blank, emotionless face:

"Gusto mo kainin ko buong pamilya mo?"

Umiyak ba naman si gago.

Hmp. Pikon.

Posted by callboi 22:44 Archived in Philippines Tagged gay_travel Comments (2)

Dear Ate Callboi...

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An anonymous email...

Dear Callboi,

Hello, I am one of your stunningly beautiful and avid blog readers.
I just wanted to ask you a question as your opinion matters highly with me.
I think I may be falling in love with a TM here on the Ops floor.
Everytime I see him, my heart skips and I can hardly breathe. My girlish figure is all a shiver when he comes near me.
My brain always feeds me these images of us running away together, whilst logging out early from my shift.
The problem is, I don't even think he notices me or knows me.
What do I do?

Please help me, Callboi!

Signed,

Marimar

Dear Marimar,

Hello!!!
Tuwa naman ako; may avid blog readers pala ako, ahihihi! Akalain mo yun.
And my opinion matters highly with you? Ikaw ha! You're making bola my already bilog na head. Kurutin kita sa pawisan mong singit eh.

Ay. Oo nga pala, you asked me something about having the hots for a TM sa floor. Sino ba? Ito naman di pa sinulat kung sino, chaka mo gurl.

Aminin mo na! Si Steven no? Eto naman kasing si Steven eh! Ang sikip-sikip ng mga damit! Akala mo suot niya damit ng bunso niyang kapatid. Or baka si Jayson? Hooooy, baka mamaya si Andro ha! Diyosko, ipapa-salvage ka ni Bianca kung si Andro nga!!! Baka naman si Andrew? Kay ano na yun... ehem... wala pala.

Anyway, kung gusto mo talaga matoknak kung sino mang TM yan, eh di magpacute ka sa kaniya!

Ano pa ba ibang magagawa mo di ba? Maghintay na ma-promote ka rin na TM para may chance na kayo magkasama?

The chances of that happening are next to nil.

Kaya next time magkita kayo, patugtugin mo sa utak mo yung song na "Whoops-kiree-whoops" tapos ikendeng mo yang bony hips mo at pa-cute ka na!

Balitaan mo ako pag may nangyari!

Ciao!

Love and Kisses and Suction,

Callboi

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Dear Callboi,

Alas! Your wise and sagely advise went amiss!
I made, what's the term again?, pa-cute to the TM my heart fancies.
Unfortunately, I am new to this kind of method and my hip-swaying may have resembled something like a spastic contraction or a drunken foxtrot.

When he saw me doing this precarious parade on the Ops floor, he had a look on his face reminiscent of those people who have seen a horse defecate on the road. He swerved away from me and ran to the pantry.

Woe is me! Shall I never have my heart's desire? Shall I forever be alone, adrift in the miserable ocean that is my life?

Aid me, Callboi, in my direst need!

Signed,

Depressed Marimar

Dear Marimar,

Drama ever ka, girl! Parang inubos mo ang synonyms sa thesaraus ng Microsoft Word! Wagi ang depressing letter mo, I must say!

But on to the business at hand... So, palpak ang Cutesy Guevarra-mode mo, well, dapat kasi nagpaturo ka muna sa akin kung paano magpa-cute, devah? Malay ko ba na para ka palang si Pokwang na nagrarampa sa Mall of Asia kung maglakad?

Hmmmm... I think you're next best option would be to send him a text message or something, declaring you're affection and desire for him.

Pero girl, wag na wag mo siyang padadalhan ng text ni Sosy Inday ha! Diyosko, baka ma-turn off ang lolo mo. Pambarkada text lang yun.

And siguraduhin mo na naka-UNLIMITXT ka! Mamaya mo maubusan ka ng load, tapos di ka makasagot sa reply niya.

Ciao!

Kisses. All over it.

Callboi

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Dear Callboi,

My heart bleeds with the pain it pumps out into my scantily-clad body. Callboi, I sent him the following text yesterday morning while he was sitting on his station:

TM, I am yours. Your will is my desire. Speak and my heart sings halleluiahs to the heavens. Your godly body is my prison, my temple, my refuge is in your arms. Every step you take brings delight to my wretched soul, every laugh from your cherubic lips fuels the fiery flames of desire within my captive entity. Here is my heart, TM, do with it as you will...

After a few minutes, Callboi, I got this reply:

Hus dis?

Such a cold answer to an inflamed missive. It dowsed the fury of my passion. I. AM. NOTHING. ANYMORE.

Signed,

Suicidal Marimar

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Dear Marimar,

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

ANG TONTA MO KASI! BAKIT DI MO NILAGAY NAME MO??!!
CHAKA MO TALAGA GIRL!

Ciao!

Love, Life, and Libog,

Callboi

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Dear Readers,

Got a problem? Need some advise?
Wala ka bang magawang matino sa buhay mo?
Bored ka ba?
Or isa kang email agent na di nagcacalls?

Kung ganun, email ka lang sa akin! Wala rin akong magawa eh!
I can't promise to post your emails anonymously, but I'll certainly try...

:)

Callboi

Posted by callboi 20:15 Archived in Philippines Tagged gay_travel Comments (0)

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