A Travellerspoint blog

Being Out and About...

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Dear Constant Readers,

This is my contribution for theorg-y's Coming Out blogging activity.

Hope you like it. I think it's kinda emo. :-P

love, lust and lechon,

- bookie -

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Once upon a time, nanligaw ako ng mga babae.

Once upon a time, nagkunyari akong interesado ako sa sports.

Once upon a time, takot akong mag-suot ng pink.

Once upon a time, inisip ko na balang araw, ikakasal ako at magkakaroon ng pamilya.

Once upon a time, kasama sa pang-araw-araw na bokabularyo ko ang "pare" at "tsong".

Once upon a time, I was straight.

Well... pretended to be, anyway.

Then, one day, coming home from school, I found my mother waiting for me in our garage.

Seryoso ang mukha niya.

Kinabahan agad ako.

I checked my conscience to see if may nagawa ba akong kasalanan lately. Wala naman.

Pero kinabahan pa rin ako.

Lumapit ako sa kaniya at humalik sa kaniyang pisngi.

"How was school?" tanong niya, kalmado.

"Ok naman," I answered.

She nodded, and then said, "Halika sa loob."

I gulped and followed her to our dining room.

There laid out on the dining table were several copies of gay erotic story books I kept hidden in our library.

Nanlamig ang buong katawan ko.

Nakita ko sa isang sulok ng dining room si Inday, ang minamahal kong yaya, nakasilip sa may pinto, kabadong-kabado ang mukha para sa akin.

"Tell me what these are," my mother asked.

Isang libo't isang isipin ang pumasok sa utak ko.

What do I tell her?

Aamin na ba ako?

Do I deny na akin yun? Maybe I should tell her na the books belonged to my bestfriend and classmate, Donne, whom she knew was gay?

What do I tell her?

Maybe I should lie? Feign innocence?

What do I tell her?

And then the last thought was:

Hindi ba mas madaling sabihin ko na lang ang totoo?

So I told her: "Those are mine."

She closed her eyes for a moment. Medyo nanginginig siya.

When she opened them again, naluluha na siya.

"So bading ka?" ang tanong niya.

Sumagot ako, medyo pumipiyok, "Opo."

Sumagot agad siya, "Kaya mo pang gamutin yan."

Muntik na akong matawa, although there was nothing funny about the moment, "Hindi ito sipon, Ma."

Nag-kasagutan kami for about an hour more, I think. Hindi na malinaw sa akin ang mga nangyari kasi, sa totoo lang, gusto ko nang kalimutan ang naging reaksiyon ni Mama sa nalaman niya tungkol sa akin.

Hindi ko siya masisi. Pero I don't think pwede rin niya akong sisihin.

That happened about eight years ago.

A few months later, I moved out. It was just too stressful. They couldn't cope, I couldn't cope.

And I haven't been home ever since.

PInagsisihan ko ba na umamin ako?

Aaminin ko, sometimes, oo. Mahirap pala ang mag-isa, lalo na pag-holidays. Or pag may sakit ako.

Madalas naman masaya ako sa pagiging bakla. Masaya talaga ang mga bakla. Pero tanungin mo ang kahit na sinong bakla and I am sure, a lot of them would have preferred to be straight.

Masaya maging bakla, oo, pero mahirap din ito. Alam niyo yan.

If it weren't for my friends, I don't think I would have survived. God bless them all.

Kapag may nakikita ako sa opisina na baklang nagkukunyaring straight, pinipilit kong intindihin.

Mahirap mag-out eh. Alam niyo yan.

Hindi sakit ang pagiging bakla, pero there are times, lalo na pag-heartbroken ako, na winiwish ko na tama si Mama.

Sana nga ang pagiging bakla, pwedeng "gamutin" na tulad lang ng sipon.

Forgive me, fellow gays, for thinking that, pero ganun talaga eh.

Masaya talaga maging bakla, the freedom to express one's self so colorfully, the brilliant homosexuals you meet along the rainbow-colored road, the hot men you have casual flings with; obviously, may perks and priviliges talaga ang pagiging bakla.

Major major proud akong maging bakla. And I love the fact na kaya ko siyang ipagsigawan.

Pero sometimes, like in my case, coming out comes with a high price.

Iniisip ko madalas, saan kayo ako mag-papasko ngayong taon? Mag-babagong taon? Ano kayang ginagawa ng pamilya ko ngayon? Okay kaya sila?

Naiisip kaya nila ako?

Gaya nga ng sabi ko, masaya maging bakla, oo, pero mahirap din ito.

Alam niyo yan.

Posted by callboi 15:25 Archived in Philippines Comments (38)

Unti-Unting Mararating...

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Hindi ako makahinga, I thought as he placed some documents on the table.

He looked up at me, smiled, and said, "You must be very excited."

I nodded, I couldn't trust myself to talk. Baka mapasigaw ako.

He continued, "Please sign here and here."

I did. As I was signing, namamanhid ang buong katawan ko.

Ganito pala, ang isip ko, ganito pala ang feeling.

Lumakas lalo ang ulan sa labas, parang nakiki-ayon sa nararamdaman ko.

Once I'd signed, he put the papers back into his leather portfolio.

He smiled at me again, "Well, we're very excited as well."

I smiled.

"Things will certainly change from here," he said, laughing, "There's no turning back."

Hindi pa rin ako makapagsalita.

Sa isip ko, ito lang ang tumatakbo:

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Posted by callboi 05:09 Archived in Philippines Tagged gay_travel Comments (26)

Mmmwatcha Say?

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Dear Constant Readers,

Be honest.

Choose from the following:

a) I hate the new layout and design of your blog!

b) Aylavet! Na-a-arouse ako sa bagong layout and design of your blog!

c) Kiber ko sa new layout and design of your blog! Basta mahal ko si Papa Coco!

If you choose letter A, bakit?

You see, I kinda like the new template I'm using. It really really REALLY turns me on, hehehe.

Survey lang po.

Comments section please.

Yun lang.

Posted by callboi 08:13 Archived in Philippines Tagged gay_travel Comments (28)

Fear Fressure

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Aaminin ko.

Mahina ako.

I gave in.

Sumuko ako.

Sinabi ko noon na never akong gagamit.

Sinabi ko noon na wala akong oras para sa ganitong kalokohan.

Pero nilunok ko lahat.

Kinain ko ang mga salita ko (Nilagyan ko ng Knorr Savor para masarap).

Gumamit ako kanina.

At aaminin ko, nag-enjoy ako.

Nag-enjoy ako sa...
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Twitter.

Please follow me on Twitter @bookiebuquir

Lubusin na natin ang plugging, i-add niyo na rin ako sa Pesbuk. Bookie Buquir ang name ko dun.

I, thank you.

Posted by callboi 03:28 Archived in Philippines Tagged gay_travel Comments (11)

Cubao Expo!

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Mahal ko na ang Cubao Expo.

If it were nearer to Makati, mas mamahalin ko siya.

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At first glance, it really doesn't look like much.

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The place kinda reminds me of Harry Potter's Diagon Alley, the Divisoria-ish version of it.

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Andito rin yung restaurant kung saan madalas mag-away si Popoy and Basha, Bellini's.

The main reason why I love Cubao Expo are these:

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Secondhand books galore!! From P50 to P200 ang price range, at maraming hardbound copies.

And do mine eyes deceive me? Old copies of Glitter magazine! When I was in grade school in Batangas, at patago pa ang aking pagka-beki, sa Glitter magazines ko nakukuha ang weekly dose of local and foreign showbiz news ko.

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Si Nanay, nag-mamakinilya pa ng proyekto ng isang mag-aaral. Singkwenta isang pahina yata ang singil.

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BTW, kasama ko nga pala noon sina Supervisor Onica and Baker Clang.

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At ang ating resident hottie, si Trainer Marlon.

We ate in this small resto/cafe called Halo.

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Actually, napahiya pa nga ako kasi akala ko Halo-Halo ang sineserve nila. Yun pala, HEY-LOW ang pronunciation nung name. Please lang.

Super mura naman yung mga prices.

Super liit din ng place.

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Siguro, mga three tables lang ang kasya.

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Trainer Marlon lost a bet so he had to order and drink this concoction named "Gayuma" (P50).

According sa waiter, gawa ito sa bananas "and other stuff".

Lasa nga siyang bananas, na hinaluan ng Red Bull at cough syrup. Di namin ma-take.

Meron din silang "Gataca" drink. Gawa sa gatas ng cow, tanduay, and carabao's milk.

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Calamansi shake na lang ang in-order ko.

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May kabagalan ang service, pero naman kasi dalawa lang sila, at medyo queuing ang orders namin.

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We wanted to take lots of pictures, kaso this pesky guard was following me around and telling me na bawal mag-picture-taking.

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Actually, karamihan sa mga stores dun, bawal rin magtake ng pictures sa loob nila. Kaya patago ang mga kuha ko.

Ka-imbey.

Lalo na ng makita namin na may nagpho-photoshoot sa isang store.

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Akala ko nga manekin, yun pala mowdel.

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Not a good-looking one at that.

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Actually, chaka din yung male mowdel.

Buti na lang maganda yung sofa.

Sana throw pillows na lang ang pinaupo nila sa sofa. Mas may aesthetic achuchu pa.

Anyways, matapos naming magsukat ng mga damit at sapatos sa ukay-ukay nila, biglang umulan.

So, we decided to make tambay muna sa sikat na bar na Mogwai.

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(picture from Chuvaness.com)

Mogwai is owned by film director Eric Matti.

Kaya naman parang isang eksena sa isang action/adventure film ang dating ng ambience.

Parang any minute, darating na lang si Indiana Jones at may-I-order ng isang mainit-init na Filipina Prostitute sa bar.

At dahil nga movies ang theme ng resto, meron din silang small "cinema" sa taas. Nagkalat ang mga higanteng unan sa sahig at may ilan-ilan ding mga theater seats.

Mondays to Saturdays ang showing at 9pm, and I'm not sure kung anung klaseng mga pelikula ang pinapalabas dun.

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A bowl of delicious crispy dilis for around P50, I think.

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And my favorite Chicken Liver swimming in gravy with more crispy dilis.

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The best na pulutan, crispy chicken leeg!

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Tokwa't baboy at itlog na pula.

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Ang favorite soup ng barkada, Pumpkin Soup.

Pwede rin pala kayo sa Cubao Expo na magshopping for Halloween.

They have really cheap and beautiful masks:

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And my personal favorite:

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In fairness, nakakatangos ng ilong. Wala nang ibabakla pa ang picture kong ito.

Posted by callboi 16:13 Archived in Philippines Tagged gay_travel Comments (12)

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