Call Center Confidential

Ito ang Loboc River.

At ito naman ang Loboc River Tour boat na sinakyan namin.

Meron siyang kasamang lunch buffet. Kaso the food was kinda disappointing. Parang Jolly-jeep lang ang nag-cater.

Sa dulo ng river, makikita niyo ang isang floating band.

At ito ang mga band members.

Siyempre pa, nakisali na rin kami.

Hindi lang ang river at ang band ang attractions ng tour na ito.

Try to ignore my tabingi na face in this pic. Pagmasdan niyo yung nasa likod na amerikanong may kalandiang pinay sa may tabi ng mga life vests.

Oh di ba?

Ayan pa.

Pero di lang sila ang may ganoong eksena.

Eto pa. Lapitan natin.

Ayaaan na.

Yeeesssss.

Papatalo ba naman ako?

Hmp. Akala nila sila lang, ha?

You know the words, P...

Ngayon ko lang naisip, di ko pala kayo napakilala sa mga kasama kong pumunta ng Bohol noh?

Well, ito sila, sa isang segment na tinatawag kong "The Abaniko Series"...

Si Clang, with her "shy-ako" look...

Si Gian, with her "magmamah-jong-ako-mamaya" look...

Si Sunny, with her "kulang-sa-akin-ang-isang-abaniko-lang" look...

Si Liz, with her "talo-ko-kayo-kasi-iba-ang-pose-ko" look...

Si Cerda, with her "mas-panalo-ako-kasi-may-shake-ako" look...

And, of course, me, with my "maigsi-masyado-ang-boxers-ko" look...

Welcome to Bohol Bee Farm! Possibly my most favorite place in the Philippines!

Anong meron sa Bohol Bee Farm?

1) BUFFET!

2) BEACH!

3) At siyempre pa, BEES!

Actually, meron silang tour na nagkakahalagang 20pesos yata per person.

At ito ang tour guide nila, si Kuya Ronel (everytime kinukunan kami ni Kuya Ronel ng picture, sasabihin niya, "Ebri wan say BEEEZ!")

Ito ang classroom ni Kuya Ronel.

At ito ang kaniyang mga tourists for the day. Requirement na suotin namin ang straw hats. Hindi dahil sa nagpapa-cute kami.

Pinakita sa amin ni Kuya Ronel ang livelihood ng mga native folk.

At siyempre, ito na ang mga famous bees ng Bohol, hawak-hawak ng aming friend and companion, si Anna Cerda, ang aming Miss Bohol-Peoplesupport 2008.

Nung nakita namin ang sign na ito, we just had to go and check it out.

Sino ba naman ang di gugustuhing makita ang higanteng sawa ni Jericho, di ba?

Maliit lang ang zoo na pagmamay-ari ni Mr. Sofronio Salibay.

Kaunti rin lang ang mga animals na nasa loob.

Katulad nitong sloth na parang maduming underwear lang na isinampay sa sulok.

There was also this cage full of these yellow birds.

An eagle which, apparently, has been featured on TV several times (daig pa ako).

Itong mga ibong ito, mukha lang maliit sa pic. Pero sa totoo lang, malaki pa sila sa ulo ko. Oh di ba, anlaki?

At ito naman si Prony, whose name came from his owner's name. Prony the python was allegedly caught in a cemetery. Kung sino ang binibisita niya sa sementeryo ay di pa nalalaman hanggang ngayon.

Nung una raw, mga aso't pusa ang pinapakain kay Prony, kaya naging obese at "unusually overweight" ang lolo mo. Sounds familiar...

As of this moment, Prony is 23 feet and 660 pounds. That's more than twice my weight.

Pero alam niyo ba... hindi si Prony ang star of the zoo ng Alburquerque, Bohol?

Ito ang pinaka-primetime bida nila:

Siya si Badong. Ang tour guide ng mini-zoo.

He goes by many names daw: Badong, Bading, or Marimar.

Daig ni Badong si Prony pagdating sa showmanship.

Meron si Badong na mini-stage katabi ng cage ni Prony.

Dun niya pinakita sa amin ang kanyang makulay na talento sa pagkanta ng "And I Am Telling You" ni Jennifer Hudson.

Mas magaling pang sumabit si Badong kesa kay Prony the Python.

Hello Callboi!

Greetings from North Dakota, USA. I am living and working here in North Dakota for the summer time and spends my winter time in Kentucky, USA. I actually lived in Kentucky for a year and moved up here in North Dakota when we bought our summer home couple of months ago. I have been reading your blogs from top to bottom, from side to side and from first blog to last blog. You are awesome! How could you do all those things? I mean, how could you write all those things. You are fascinating! I was once a call center agent in Ortigas of year 2006. I actually saw your blog link from one of my co-worker before who's now working anf living in Dubai. She even said that your blog was her comfort zone when she's bored at work.

You made me laugh with your blog. Somehow, got irritated too with one blog of yours when someone (thetruth) commented about something non-sense at all! She was just like a biatch and she's no comparison at SOME pinays here who-is-married to their Caucasian husband. Istariray ang mga role! Meron pa nga, napagkaisahan ang isang pinay sa Florida at nagsilabasan lahat ng mga baho nila! Hay naku! nakakatuwa este nakakatawa pala kasi they are already old and with teenager kids already and they act that way! Super nakakahiya mga inaasal nila. Meron din sa California, pataasan ng ihi. Pabonggahan ng mga gamit! If one pinay got a new COACH or GUCCI purse, she will brag all about it how spoiled she was by her husband! Pwe! For one new COACH purse, and you have to brag? Kakaiba talaga? Nakakainis pa! Nakapunta at nakatapak lang ng lupa ng America hayun, nagyabang na! Akalain mo nga naman ano? Meron pa rin talagang kakaibang ugali ang mga pinay... Meron din isang pinay sa Maryland, nilait ang sweldo ko ($ 8.50/hour plus on top of my salary is $500 bonus every month, so it means my take home is $ 3,500 amonth). I work as a receptionist by the way and I only for from Spring time to Summer time (seasonal job). She said, that she will not work for that kind of rate. She worked in a restaurant in Maryland with a rate of $10.50/hour (eh hello, WAL-MART pays that rate too!) Super Yabang! Ang sabi pa nya, kulang pa daw sa mga luho nya ang kinikita ko na $ 3,500 a month! How crazy? Where is she now? Ayun, she's taking care and babysits her baby!

So much for that... Naku, I love reading all your blogs! I think you have a good heart Callboi... Don't mind other people who tries to destroy you. Enjoy lang ng enjoy! Continue making me happy reading your post. Especially that summer time is almost over and here comes the Fall. Can't wait for the winter time where I can enjoy my vacation after my work here in North Dakota! Thank you Callboi for a wonderful and fabulous blogs... Keep up the good job!

Sierra Mist

Dear Sierra Mist,

Kainggit ka, sister ha! May summer home ka na sa States! Samantalang ako, dito lang sa isang two-storey apartment sa Guada.

Guadalupe, Makati at hindi Guadalajara, mind you.

In fairness, ako man ay mahilig sa COACH bags, pero yung nabibili lang sa Divisoria. I remember this one fake COACH bag I bought last year, it was so cute. Kaso parang may expiration date yata. Kasi a year from the date I bought it, biglang nasira ang zipper at ang strap ng sabay. I have no issues with buying fake bags. Eh sa mura't maganda eh. Pag lampas nga ng 300hundred yung fake na bag, namamahalan na ako eh.

Kung keri mo siyang dalahin, why not, right? Basta wag mo lang ipagtangkang ipagsabi sa mga tao na original yung nabili mo, pero mali pala yung spelling brand. That is so not chica.

Grabe naman yang mga kasamahan mong Pinay. Ang "Mean Girls" ng dating nila eh tubong "Mula sa Puso" naman sila. Joke lang!

Malay mo may mga personal problems lang yang mga yan, and that's the only way they can cope. By burying all their worries in couture. Pabayaan mo na sila. If I were you, aim high, Pinay! Mag-dala ka ng bayong sa office niyo! I'm sure ikaw lang ang magkakaroon ng ganoong style. And you know naman the Kano's. They love all things native and exotic. Sasabihin nila napaka-fashion forward mo! Antaray!

Love, lust, and lechon,

callboi♥
akosicallboi@gmail.com

I left my heart (and my vajayjay) in Bohol.

Bakit kanyo?

Haaay. Ang ganda-ganda dun.

Tignan niyo ang short preview below:

Nakaka-depress ang pagbabalik ng urbanidad.

I will post more pics soon. As in soon.

The day after tomorrow, aalis na ako, along with 5 other girls (girls daw oh!), papuntang Bohol.

Thiz eez eet.

Bakasyon galore na ang drama namin for five days.

So, pasensya na kayo if in the next several days wala muna akong entry dito sa blogtsina ko.

Pero may kaba sa aking puso.

Pangalawang beses ko pa lang sumakay ng eroplano.

Takot pa rin ako.

Ok sana kung ganito ang katabi ko sa eroplano eh:

Dear Callboi,

I dn't know if you remember me but the other day in the elevator I was wearing a green soccer shirt and dark blue denims and I smiled at you and you smiled back. Did you smile at me because: a) you were attracted to me (coz I am a bit of a cutie, they say), or b) because your used to smiling back at people who smile at you even if you don't know them, being as famous as you are in this building?

If it helps, it was in the morning that we met in the elevator, and you were accompanied by your chubby friend Giane.

I'm really curious.

love,

4th-floor-Cutie

Dear Cutie,

Natatandaan kita. "Italy" was written at the back of your green shirt, di ba?

Cute ka nga, I guess. Kamukha mo si Tobey Maguire, kung naging moreno si ate Tobey. At medyo payatot. Pero definitely cute.

I must have smiled kasi, lately, napapansin ko, mas maraming ngumingiti sa akin na di ko kilala sa elevator (and sa pantry, sa smoking area, at sa CR, which can be creepy). I assume kasi nababasa nila ang blog ko.

Sabi naman ni Gian, wag daw ako assuming. Feeling sikat daw ako. Pero what if I'm right? What if kaya ngumingiti sa akin ang ibang tao na di ko kilala is because kilala nila ako dahil sa blog? Baka sabihin nila suplado ako pag di ako nagsmile back.

Or baka kaya sila nangingiti ay dahil sa ilong ko na hugis volkswagen?

Pero kung sabagay, mas ok na isipin nila na suplado ako, wag lang "pasosyal". Di ba thetruth?

Hay naku, Cutie, maniwala ka sa akin. Sincere ako when I said na cute ka. And next time, pag nagkita tayo uli sa elevator, hindi lang ngiti ang gagawin ko.

May wave pa.

love, life, and lechon,

callboi♥
akosicallboi@gmail.com

Nag-ca-calls ka ba ngayon?

Tumayo ka at tignan mo ang sup mo sa station niya.

Mukha ba siyang nalilito?

Nalulungkot?

Or maybe... nag-iinit?

Baka sup mo ang friend kong si Maria.

Lately, napapansin ko na mas maraming tao ang nagkukuwento ng mga sikreto nila sa akin. Siguro gusto nilang ma-blog. Or siguro gusto lang nila ng outlet.

Katulad nitong kaibigan kong sup na si Maria.

Minsan, habang naghihintay ako ng mga pina-photocopy ko kay manong, di napigilan ni Maria na ikwento sa akin ang kanyang dillema.

"I'm human, natural lang naman siguro sa akin ang ma-attract sa agent ko, di ba?"

"Oo naman, natural na natural," ang sagot ko.

"Then why am I so ashamed at myself?" tanong ni Maria.

"Maybe because you know it's wrong for sups to have a relationship with their agents?" I replied, and added some more, "Maybe because virginal ang image mo?"

She slapped my arm, "Fine fine fine... I know maraming reasons kung bakit mali yung nararamdaman ko, pero girl, alam mo naman na hindi ako normal na ganito, di ba? I've never claimed that I have, ummm..., lusted after someone!"

Which is totally true, actually. She's not exactly mahinhin, but she's no whore either. I've never heard her say that she was lusting after a guy, let alone an agent of hers!

"What's so bad if you have the hots for an agent of yours?" I asked her.

"Ang problema kasi, halata niya yata! I actually think he's flirting with me!" she answered, flustered.

I raised an eyebrow, "Ows? Anong ginagawa ni Mr. Boylet?"

"Subtle things lang naman. He texts me everyday, asking if kumain na ba ako, kung kamusta na ako," Maria enumerated, "Once, naglagay siya ng post-it note sa loob ng pedestal ko, may nakasulat na "I love your smile!"

"Pumalakpak naman ang pekpek mo?" I teased.

"Slight lang, slight," she continued, "Tapos nung isang araw, after shift, kaming dalawa na lang natira sa area amin, lumapit siya sa station ko tapos inaya akong kumain sa labas."

"Oh, anong sabi mo?" I asked.

"Um-oo ako. Nung nasa elevator na kami, nabanggit niya yung girlfriend niya."

"Excuse me? May girlfriend na si Mr. Boylet?" I asked incredulously.

"Apparently!" she answered.

"So anong ginawa mo?" I asked.

"I made up some excuse and umalis ako," Maria said, "Hello! Hindi ako kabit no?"

"Hindi ka nga kabit, makati ka lang," I joked.

"Hahaha! Crazy ka," she said, "Anyways, as soon as I left, he texted me. Is there anything wrong daw, mga ganyung epek."

"Anung sabi mo?"

"Di ako nagreply," she said.

In fairness naman kasi, si Mr. Boylet, malakas talaga ang dating. He's tall, dark, and medyo-medyo handsome. Emphasis on the dark. Dark-skinned talaga siya, as in maitim. Pero the good kind of maitim. Yung tipong dark chocolate ba... sweet sa tongue. Total opposite siya ni Maria, na mestiza.

"Alam mo ba, there are times na parang gusto ko na lang lumuhod sa harap ni Mr. Boylet? Para kasing ang sarap-sarap niya eh," Maria noted.

"Remember, sis, the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice! Ang tanong: uhaw ka ba?"

She laughed, "Sa kaniya lang!"

"What do you plan to do now?" I asked her.

She thought for a second, "Palipat kaya ako sa GY shift? Para maiwasan ko na siya?"

I didn't answer. Di ko alam ang sagot eh. If I were in her place, malamang pumatol na ako. But then again, that's me. Joke lang.