Dec 2007

Last Wednesday, I fell in love with some guy I just met.

Don't get me wrong, though. It wasn't love at first sight. It took at least two hours for me to realize that this boy was definitely a catch. By the end of the day, I was hooked.

He was really nice. He was really cute. He was a really good singer.

Anong downside?

Well, there are two, actually.

First, he was already in a relationship. Four years na sila ng BF niya.

Second, di niya ako type. Pero he was still uber-nice to me. As in. We were together almost all of Friday night, during the company party.

Another thing: taga-Baguio siya. So, temporary lang ang stay niya here. He was just accompanying his cousin who was a contestant in the company singing contest.

It was amazing how easily we got close to each other. We got to talk about a lot of things. About his boyfriend and stuff.

As soon as the concert was over, the contestants and I headed to the hotel to finish the night off with bottles of tequila and videoke-singing.

Parteeboi and his comically cute boyfriend joined us in the hotel room.

Amidst the singing drunken people in the room, Baguio Boy and I got to talking about our love problems. I confessed to him that I once had feelings for Parteeboi but that I was now totally over him.

"So, hindi ka nasasaktan makita na masaya siya with his boyfriend?" Baguio Boy asked me.

I shook my head, "Not in the least. I'm actually very happy for him. Ngayon ko lang siya nakita ng ganyan kasaya."

Baguio Boy nodded. Then he said, "In fairness, ang cute ng boyfriend niya."

I gulped, "Type mo?"

He just smiled and nodded.

Haaay. You know what? Medyo na-depress talaga ako noon.

I couldn't help but wish that I were as good-looking as most of my friends.

Madalas nga, iniisip ko na mag-iipon ako ng pera para pa-ayos ko ang nose ko. Feeling ko kasi, kapag maganda na ang ilong ko (hindi yung naka-upo, as Amorsolo loves to describe my nose), may itsura na siguro ako.

Sabi ni Parteeboi there's someone out there for me daw.

Just once, I would want to hear that someone finds me attractive, and sound sincere saying it.

I'm not trying to fish for compliments here, people. Nor am I in a pity-party.

Let's just say I really liked Baguio Boy. And I wish that he liked me that way, too.

He left for Baguio this morning. Miss ko na siya.

She-ra: Shall we play a game?

Callboi: What kind of game?

She-ra: You know the one Angelica played with Aga in that movie?

Callboi: Puro tanong, walang sagot?

She-ra: Is there any other game?

Callboi: Sa tingin mo, kaya mo akong talunin?

She-ra: Ang tanong, tatagal ka ba?

Callboi: (laughing) Ready ka na ba?

She-ra: Mahal mo na ba si Dookie?

Callboi: Bakit naman napasok si Dookie sa laro?

She-ra: Bakit mo iniiwasan ang issue?

Callboi: May issue ba?

She-ra: Wala ba?

Callboi: Bakit? May sinabi ba sa iyo si Dookie?

She-ra: Meron ba siyang dapat sabihin?

Callboi: (silence)

She-ra: Bakit wala kang masabi? Suko na?

Callboi: Mukha bang sumusuko na ako?

She-ra: So, mahal mo na ba si Dookie?

Callboi: Ummmm... (thinking)... Alam mo ba na di pa ako sigurado kung ano feelings ko para sa kaniya?

She-ra: (laughing) Have you you two had sex?

Callboi: Do you think that's any of your business, puta ka?

She-ra: Bakit pikon ka?

Callboi: (in a loud voice) Mukha ba akong napipikon?

She-ra: Okay, over ka na ba kay Sunshine?

Callboi: Anong kelangan kong gawin para mapatunayan na soooobrang over na ako?

She-ra: Kaya mo bang mag-cartwheel ng tatlong beses habang kumakanta ng "Hiram"?

Callboi: Suntok, gusto mo?

She-ra: Sinong kasama mo nung isang gabi sa Cafe Breton?

Callboi: At paano mo naman nalaman yun?

She-ra: Meron bang tsismis na di nakakarating sa akin?

Callboi: Aber, ano naman ang nabalitaan mo?

She-ra: Totoo bang may kasama kang isang dotcom agent?

Callboi: Kilala mo ba kung sino?

She-ra: Hindi ba obvious na kilala ko?

Callboi: Cute naman siya di ba?

She-ra: Alam mo ba na crush ko yun?

Callboi: Ah talaga?

She-ra: Oo kaya.

Callboi: Talo ka na.

She-ra: Ay pakshit.

Callboi: You said it, sister.

Flashback to Christmas Eve, 2005...

11PM

Paris and I were smoking outside his house in Laguna, waiting for the guy we both secretly loved.

"Antagal naman ni Pumpkin," I said, crossing my legs as I sat on the sidewalk.

Paris was quiet; he looked as if something was bothering him.

"Ok ka lang?" I asked him.

"Wala lang," he replied, and then he added, rather abruptly, "Alam mo, Pumpkin makes me laugh talaga."

I shrugged, "He's a funny guy."

Pero sa totoo lang, I was just acting all nonchalant at his words, pero kinakabahan na ako na tama nga ang hinala ko.

My bestfriend and I were falling for the same guy. A guy na barkada namin.

Flashback to Christmas Eve, 2006...

11PM

Sunshine and I were in the smoking area, nagsesenti.

"Kainis! Andito tayo ng Pasko," Sunshine ranted.

"Ok lang," I replied, "At least double pay."

"Tinext mo na ba ng merry xmas si Paris?" he asked me.

I shook my head, "Heller. Di nga kami naguusap eh, di ba?"

Sunshine laughed, "Hay naku. Mag-to-two years na kayong di naguusap ah! Kasi naman yang Pumpkin na yan eh. Ano bang meron siya at kaya niyang sirain ang dalawang magbestfriend?"

I giggled, "Ewan ko ba eh ang dugyot naman ng puñetang yun..."

"Asus! Eh yun naman ang nagustuhan mo eh!" Sunshine teased.

PRESENT TIME, as in kanina lang:

Paris and I were in the smoking area outside the pantry.

"Kamusta naman ang lovelife mo?" Paris asked me.

"What lovelife?" I replied, "Single ever pa rin ang lolo mo."

"Eh ang sexlife?" he asked.

"Ah yan, diyan tayo bumabawi!" I answered.

We both laughed, finally at ease with each other.

Haaay. Merry Christmas sa ating lahat.

hi callboi! i've just recently been introduced to your blog and i'm liking it.
and this is not (only) because it's gossip-ridden (this should be a compliment!). obviously you get a lot of inspiration as you seem to never run of things and people to write about. question: do you write for yourself or do you write more for your "audience"? not that there's anything wrong with either. or both.

am i from exp****? yes. im one of the low-profile people on the floor. do you know me? yes.
i'd just like you to know that you have another fan in me. you write very well. you keep things simple.
now let me go back to back-reading your blog.

Mike

Dear Mike,

Do I write more for my "audience" or for myself?

Interesting question. Admittedly, there is something therapeutic (hell, even mildy erotic) about cannibalizing my own life in my blog. I think the answer to your question is both. I write for myself, and for my readers. I like making people laugh. But most importantly, I like laughing at myself.

Paminsan, feeling ko, ang tanga-tanga ko in how I deal with some stuff that's going on in my life, and the only way I can learn from it is by analyzing it in writing. Then, when I read it, it sounds so much more glamorous and funny than it really is. Pero sa totoong buhay, boplaks talaga ako. Ask Amorsolo. He knows how naive I can be most of the times.

I am curious, though, as to why a lot of people, yourself for example, have been writing to me anonymously. You say you're a low-profile person on the floor? Honey, we're all low-profile; some of us just get to strut their stuff more. Yabangan lang yan, tsong!

Dear Callboi,

I want to be an email agent! How can this dream of mine become a reality?

DotCom Agent

Dear DotCom Agent,

Well, first of all, kelangan maganda or pogi ka (oh, walang papalag!).

Second, magpa-misa ka sa Baclaran.

Third, kelangan lagi mong bibigyan ng bente pesos si Bianca Barretto (siya yung mayores ng email team).

Fourth, talk to Andrew Torres.

Dear Callboi,

Happy birthday! How much do you weigh?

Ta-Artits

Dear Ta-Artits,

Ulol!

"Melluna, sabay tayo mag-break, kain tayo sa pantry," I told my teammate.

She nodded and said, "Okay."

Yan ang gusto ko kay Melluna. She was always game with almost whatever I told her to do. Madalas nga, naaabuso ko na eh.

In the pantry, I bought lechon kawali rice meal and siomai with yang chow rice. Gutom ako eh, so walang pakialamanan.

Melluna meanwhile had her baon of hotdogs with scrambled eggs and rice.

She made painit my food sa microwave and we settled down to eat.

I knew that Melluna was religious so I said, "Let's pray muna!"

And she did. She closed her eyes tight, and started praying out loud.

She mentioned a lot of things which I couldn't hear much because ang ingay sa pantry.

Pero ang tagal ng dasal niya as in. Eh gutom na ako. Pero siyempre ayaw ko naman siyang tapikin at sabihan ng "Abuso ka na sa tagal ha!" May manners naman ako.

She was still praying as I was fondly gazing at the oiliness of my lechon.

Then I heard something about me in her prayer.

She said:

"Please heal our bodies, especially Buquir's body. May You give him rest in Your loving arms."

She also prayed for our productivity as a team and for God to lift up the rest of the day.

Na-touch ako sobra sa prayer niya. You see, I'm not religious. I aslo have this chronic problem of insomnia. Medyo malala na siya. Every single day I only get a maximum of an hour's sleep. Sometimes none at all. And I have tried everything to stay asleep. Wala talaga.

Pero you know what? I was touched that Melluna included me in her prayers. Yun lang. Wouldn't you be?