Dec 2007

Jango San Roque and I were having lunch at The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf from across our building.

Malaki ang problema ng lolo niyo. In love siya with a friend. And he's scared that if he makes a move, and the guy does not reciprocate whatever feelings he shows, the friendship would be lost.

"I dunno, but I think you should risk everything and just tell him," I offered, as I sipped my hot vanilla drink, "if you really love him, that is."

Jango brushed back his bangs, "That's the thing. I'm not sure if I do. I'm not sure if it's just lust or love that's going on between the two of us."

Yan ang problema sa aming mga bakla. Madalas, we often confuse hot erotic steamy pumping sweaty lust with sweet caring heart-warming and ultimately adorable love.

"Have you done it with him?" I asked.

He took a bite from my Chicago Cheesecake before answering, "We almost did it. Twice nang muntik na may mangyari pero di namin matuloy. The second time, I was the one who initiated it, it even got to the part where he actually had taken off my pants and was searching for some lube when I decided that it was wrong and stopped it from there."

I pondered on what he said, "Have you said "i love you" to each other?"

"Yeah, we have, pero I don't know if he means it the same way I do," Jango replied.

"So you have no idea how he feels about you?" I asked.

"I really don't," he said, "tapos eto pa; for the past couple of weeks, he has often been sleeping at his ex's."

"So, malamang nag-ju-juer sila," I replied.

Jango looked sad, "Ano pa nga ba?"

"Are you sure this isn't one of those things na by next week eh over ka na sa kaniya, coz you know I've seen this happen before with you?" I asked Jango, dubiously.

He laughed, "Yun nga eh! Alam mo, pag di ko siya nakikita, sobrang namimiss ko siya. Pag nagtext siya sa akin ng sweet, tuwang-tuwa ako. Pero di ko alam kung ano ba talaga ang meron sa amin."

"Marse, di ko rin alam eh, I've only seen him once, and I couldn't read any of his body language towards you," I told him.

"Do you think I should tell him?" Jango asked me, "tell him how I feel?"

I was quiet for a few seconds, "I want to say yes, but I'm scared na baka masaktan ka in the end. Pero I really want to say yes."

Jango smiled and sort of shrugged as he lay back on his easy chair, "Haaay. Miss ko na siya."

If I were in Jango's place, malamang inamin ko sa mahal ko. Pero I don't think kaya kong aminin kay Chong or kay Clover Chips na I kinda somewhat sort of really really like them.

Like I said awhile ago, takot ako eh.

For a friend, who's going through a lot right now:

“The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.”

I'm writing this a couple of days before my 27th birthday.

Well, another year added to my biological calendar.

I am officially in my late 20's. If I were straight, I'd probably be married by now.

If I were a girl, I'd most likely be pregnant with my third child and be working in Burger Machine. Pero manager naman.

Do I feel more mature as opposed to how I felt back then when I was a teenager?

You know what? I kinda do, actually.

I've been through a lot. I've made a lot of mistakes, and learned a ton of lessons. And I'm pretty sure I'll be making the same and new mistakes all over. But that's okay. I'm human.

To err is human, to forgive is ka-martiran, right?

My birthday wish?

I have a few... well, actually, a lot...

I wish I could learn to trust wholly again.

I wish I could fix everything with a certain someone; but truth is, I kinda wanna give up already.

I wish I could truly get over Pumpkin. I know... I know... Pathetic ako. Shoot me. Somebody. Please.

I wish I could feel better about how I look. And not feel insecure and ugly whenever there are good-looking people around.

I wish I could help this one friend I have who's kinda drowning right now.

And most of all, I wish my mom would just surprise me and show up here in the office and tell me that everything's okay and that she misses me and that she should never have let me leave.

Yun lang. Di naman ako selfish, di ba?

Sample text messages namin ni Amorsolo...

Me: Bakla, bakla, hinog ka na ba?

Amorsolo: Opo, puwede nang pitasin ang bulaklak ko.

Me: Bulaklak mo amoy saging.

Amorsolo: Hinde ah! Amoy sampagita!

Sample text messages namin ni She-ra...

Me: Bakla, bakla, hinog ka na ba?

She-ra: Pinanganak na akong hinog.

Me: Ano ka? Pigsa?

She-ra: Hinde. Tagiyawat!

Me: Gross national income ka talaga!

She-ra: Mas gross national income ka.

Me: Sumbong kita sa nanay mo, sabihin ko sa kaniyang bakla ka.

She-ra: Subukan moh! Isusumbong kita sa tatay mo! Sasabihin ko kumakain ka ng sausage na buhay at may ugat!

Me: Baboy.

She-ra: I may be a baboy, but I am the best baboy in town. Hitheeeet-bugaaaah.

Sample text namin ni Clover chips...

Me: Bakla, bakla hinog ka na ba?

CC: Excuse me?

Me: Ay! Shet! Sorry wrong send.

CC: Ok.

Me: Ano ginagawa mo?

CC: Gumagawa ng tracker.

Me: Anong suot mo?

CC: Gago.

Sample text nina Clang, Gian, at Zue sa akin...

Clang: Hellern.

Gian: Ayoko pumasok. I'm sleepy. Pero may quiz kami mamaya...

Zue: Nag-eemail ka ba o pumepetiks?

I love Chinatown. I love it because of the food, the people, the culture, and did I mention the food?

My favorite resto is this hole-in-the-wall place named Wai Ying. Mukha lang siyang cafeteria na pahaba pero sobrang panalo ang food dito. Ang mura pa. Busog ka na sa P50.

Yesterday afternoon, kasama ko sina She-ra at Dookie nagpunta ng Wai Ying. Actually, sumimba muna kami sa Binondo Church, kaso we had to leave before the end of the mass kasi ang gagang She-ra, muntik nang mapa-away dun sa katabi naming babae.

"Eh sa totoo namang sinisiksik niya ako eh!" She-ra shrieked as we hurried outside of the church parking lot.

"Marse, matanda na yung ale, pinatulan mo pa!" I scolded him.

"Heller! Kebs ako sa age gap namin. I don't like it when people invade my personal space," sabi pa ni She-ra na nang-gagalaiti, "Eh amoy efficascent oil pa man din siya!"

"Ang arte mo naman," said Dookie, while fiddling with his cellphone and taking various shots of Chinatown.

A kalesa trotted past us.

She-ra poked me in the arm, "Bookie, tignan mo yung sa kabayo oh. Anlaki."

I laughed, "Bastos ka talaga!"

"It kinda looks familiar... donchateenk?" She-ra teased. I ignored him.

"Where in the world are we going to eat ba?" She-ra asked.

"May alam ako na place. Di siya fab ha, pero panalo ang food," I told them, leading them past the small bridge and into Wai Ying's.

As we entered Wai Ying, napansin ko na medyo aligaga ang She-ra, "Sure ka ba dito, Bukeera? Para siyang cafeteria."

I smiled at them and chose a table right in front of their glass case filled with various dimsum.

"I like it," Dookie said, looking around, "It's clean naman eh."

Just then, a tall hunky cute asian guy entered the resto and sat next to our table. Mukhang kilala na siya doon kasi binati siya agad ng mga waiters and waitresses.

"Sir Marcus! Tagal niyo nang di dumadaan dito ah!" ang bati nung isang waiter na kamukha ni Kachupoy.

"Sensya na, medyo busy sa shop eh," said the asian hunky named Marcus, "Dating order pa rin ha?"

Meanwhile, She-ra was making papansin sa guy by staring at him, turning his back on us in his chair. Soooobrang obvious.

"Ummm She-ra? Order na tayo?" I asked him.

"I know what I want to eat na..." She-ra said, and that got Hunky Asian's attention. He looked up from his cellphone at us and smiled at She-ra.

She-ra, in turn, waved to the guy.

"Mamaya na yan. Order muna tayo," Dookie said curtly.

I ended up ordering several dimsum and my fave, the hofan noodles.

Dookie ordered their white chicken asado and a big bowl of congee. Yung congee bowl nila, kasing laki yata ng ulo ko.

She-ra ordered white milk tea lang.

"Wala kang oorderin na iba?" I asked him.

She-ra shook his head, still staring at Marcus next to us, "Drink lang. May ulam na ako eh."

I snorted and Dookie just laughed. Pambihira talaga ang kakati-han nitong bilat na ito.

The food arrived and it was just as good as I remembered it. In fact, Dookie even ordered several more packs of dimsum which he said we would eat sa place niya.

She-ra was still making eyes at the asian guy, whilst sipping his tea.

"Busog ka na ba?" I asked him.

"Malapit na," She-ra replied.

Bilib rin naman ako doon sa guy. Hindi man lang nailang sa pag-stare sa kaniya ni She-ra. Eh mahigit thirty minutes na siyang pinagmamasdan. Sanay na siguro. Or baka naman straight. Or di niya lang type si She-ra.

But then, the answer walked through the resto door. Another cute hunky asian guy.

He went straight for Marcus's table and greeted him, "Sorry ngayon lang ako. Ang traffic eh."

Then he gave Marcus a peck on the cheek.

"Aaaaaaay puñeta!" ang sigaw ni She-ra.

"Huuuuy, wag kang sumigaw!" ang sigaw ko naman kay She-ra.

Dookie was so ashamed at our mutual outbursts that he just unfolded the newspaper he had and hid his face behind it.

The two asian cuties looked at us and Marcus said something which we couldn't hear. The other cutie just nodded and smiled. Marcus stood up and waved at us.

Sabay labas nung dalawa.

Tahimik kaming tatlo sa lamesa.

Dumating na yung takeout ni Dookie.

Lumabas na rin kami.

Tahimik pa rin.

And then She-ra said, "Simba tayo uli."

The three of us just looked at each other, and then burst out laughing, as we strolled along Binondo, the night cloaking everything in surreal darkness.