Oct 2007

As we entered the club, my rather youngish date, let's call him Guy, held my hand and asked me, "So, you really erased him from your Friendster?"

I nodded. I could barely hear him; George Michael's "As" was blasting throughout the place.

Guy laughed as we proceeded to the bar. He ordered beers for the both of us and we settled onto a nearby booth.

"Is this a habit of yours? Deleting people from your Friendster account if you're not on good terms with them?" he asked me.

I pondered the question, "I've done it twice only. And I have over five hundred friendsters."

"Why did you do it?" Guy asked.

"I guess siguro dahil ayaw kong makita kung ano na nangyayari sa buhay niya," I replied, "If he wants to ruin his life, then so be it. It's his decision. Kawawa na lang siya pag nalaman niya kung ano pinagsasabi ng mga ka-partee niya."

"That's sad," Guy asked, "I would just die if those kinds of rumors were spreading about me."

"I know right," I said, while glancing around the club, "Sandali, tell me the truth, am I the oldest guy in this place?"

Guy looked around, "Ummm... I think the owner is older than you."

I laughed, "God, I feel so old. Look, even the bartenders are younger than me."

"Hahahah! Ok lang yun, dude," Guy chuckled.

After a few more beers, our conversation steered back into the sordid shores of Friendster.

"So, did you ever hook up with anyone you just knew from Friendster?" Guy asked, slurring a little, I think he was getting a bit drunk.

"Me? No! Ew, the mere thought," I answered, "Although, not to brag or anything, but I have had my share of indecent proposals from the net, ahehehehe."

"Really?" he asked.

"Always the tone of surprise," I smiled, "Yes, I have gotten a few, ummm, sensual messages from chubby chasers online."

"Chubby chasers?" Guy said.

"Yes, you know, those folks who have a penchant for the flab," I replied.

"I see..." Guy said. A few minutes of silence.

"Do you think I'm a chubby chaser?" he asked, softly, shyly.

I couldn't answer right away. I mean, the boy did ask me out for a date. Pero feeling ko naman kasi natutuwa lang siya sa humor ko. Not because he was attracted or something.

"I think you're a very nice boy," I finally answered.

We both laughed at that.

Last Tuesday, I had lunch in Jollibee with my favorite straight couple, Alvin and Julia.

"Why the heck did you choose Jollibee Guadalupe of all places for us to meet?" asked Alvin, sounding pissed.

"Well, first of all, it's close to my place. Second, it's cheap," I retorted, "and third, nagtitipid na ako. You guys are rich! I'm sure nagcab kayo papunta rito."

Julia nodded, smiling, while Alvin mock-punched me on the arm.

I ordered the 2-piece Chickenjoy meal with large fries and a large Coke, AND extra rice (I just looooove their fries and chicken!); the forever health-buff couple ordered salad and peach mango pies.

As we sat down to eat, Julia discreetly pointed out a cute guy sitting next to our table.

"In fairness, may chance si junior," I said.

"He's cute. I think you'd be perfect for each other," Julia responded. Ganyan si Julia, feeling niya lahat ng cute na guys bagay sa akin, God bless her.

"Ang bagay kay Buquir, yung malaki rin yung katawan! Para pag nagsex sila, di mapipisa!" Alvin chuckled.

"Harharhar..." I sarcastically replied.

Just then, next-table-cute-guy was approached by another cute guy.

We couldn't hear what they were talking about but it was pretty obvious that they were introducing themselves to each other.

"Hmmm... It looks like a classic case of EB," I noted.

"EB?" Julia asked, innocently.

"Eyeball," I said, and explained the usual rituals of such a procedure.

"So they met online, and then what?" Julia was curious.

Alvin was laughing, "Eh di ano pa? Jabongga!"

"Which would then make it into SEB," I said, "Sex Eyeball."

Julia was nonplussed, "You mean... kahit na first time nilang magkita, and they hardly know each other, they'll do it?"

I was laughing softly at her amazement, "It happens more often than you think."

Alvin added, "It's a gay thing. But I do know some straight people do it, too. It's just that this kind of thing is more proliferate in the gay community."

Julia seemed to be still musing over the gay couple next to us.

They seemed to have progressed from the hi's and hello's to the are-you-top-or-bottom part.

After a few seconds, they left, looking eager to slap each other silly.

Julia looked at me seriously and then asked, "Have you ever done that?"

It took a second for me to answer, I had to think kase. Have I done it?

"No," I answered truthfully, "Not yet, anyway."

Julia nodded, while Alvin snorted.

"What? You don't believe me?" I asked, one eyerbrow raised.

"Well, I know how much of a horndog you can be..." he replied, smiling.

I threw some fries at him, "Hello! I'm not a hypocrite or anything. I have done the occasional one-night-stands but it's rare. And I wouldn't do it now if I was with someone."

Alvin smirked.

"Plus, I don't try and meet guys online," I said, softly, "Besides, I'm sure they'd just reject me if they see my pic. Mas harsh ang judgment ng mga bakla online, believe me."

Julia still couldn't get over the sex-with-a-stranger thing, "So, do you think most gay guys are promiscuous?"

I pondered that question, "I honestly, and sadly, have to say yes."

They were both looking at me. I felt that I needed to expound.

"Do you know? I have yet to find a gay guy who's been in a true-to-life monogamous relationship," I said, "As in lahat ng kakilala ko na bading na may karelasyon had already slept with someone else while in the relationship."

"Plus, uso sa mga gay relationships yung what they call na open relationship," I said, "Which just means you can fuck around with anybody but still have a boyfriend who probably is doing the same thing."

"Do you believe in open relationships?" Alvin asked.

"No, I don't," I answered seriously.

"Why not?" he asked.

"Eh kasi, if I am going to be in a relationship, I'd want to be faithful to that someone," I answered, "And I would want him to be faithful, too."

"Sleeping around just corrupts a relationship for me. It taints it. If you really love someone, sex should just be between the two of you. And I don't believe in that crap that they say that open relationships just add more spice to the couple's life. It may add spice and excitement and all that, but the love comes into question more often than not."

I panted. I didn't intend to make a speech. I added one more line, though, "Kahit papaano, sacred pa rin ang sex para sa akin."

Alvin said softly, hesitantly, "You cheated on Blaise back in college. With his bestfriend."

I nodded, "And it was the single most stupid and evil thing I've ever done and the karma I am experiencing since then is so not enough."

"But I've never cheated on anyone ever since. I learned my lesson well."

Julia smiled, "Well at least there are others like you."

I laughed, "Some gay guys would actually frown at what I said and how I think about open relationships or sexual promiscuity."

"Yeah, well, some gay guys are stupid," Alvin said.

"Don't say that," I replied, "They're not stupid. It's their choice. If they choose to fuck around, go ahead. I don't force my beliefs on my friends. I let them live their own lives."

"Although, feeling ko, the promiscuity thing?" I said, "It's just gay guys trying to find someone to love through sex. It's a beautiful kind of sadness, as that South Park kid once said."

I've been on a natural high since last week. This is possibly the happiest I've been this whole year.

Forgive this moment of pagyayabang but I just can't help it. I've tried my best to stop myself from writing about it in this blog, but obviously I can't help myself.

You see, last week, I got a letter from a very prestigious writing competition informing me that my play, "Sinigang at Iba Pang Kadramahan sa Buhay", is an official contender for the three-acts play portion!

It has always been my dream to be included in this competition. Honestly, the fact that I was chosen as a contender is prize enough for me. As cliche' as it may sound, the nomination really is enough for me.

The committee has informed me that I need to speak with the judges (10 of them!) to explain my play and "why you think it was chosen." Eeep!

I've never been good in explaining my writings. Feeling ko tuloy thesis defense na naman ito!

A friend of mine told me I should wear something in the category of nerd-chic.

"Why???" I asked.

"Para mukha kang presentable at credible", he said to me, matter-of-factly.

I let his comment slide as he obviously meant to be helpful. Arrogant fool that he is.

What is my play about, you ask?

It's about a series of events that happened to me which I felt left a dramatic imprint and effect on my life.

Or simply said, tungkol sa dati kong barkada.

Which brings me to one concern of mine. Anyone who knows me will know who the people in the play are. Of course, I did change most of the names, si Bianca and Zue Anne lang yata ang di nabago ang pangalan.

I don't exactly come of as a protagonist in the play, but then, not everyone does.

To the people involved, if ever the play does become published and, knock on wood, famous, I ask for your forgiveness.

But believe you me, you guys come out smelling like roses in the end. You'll do a lot better than I will, anyway.

The play is for Sinigang. For the times we were together. For the times we knew each other. For the times we trusted each other.

In less than two weeks, I will be on my way to Bacolod for the Maskara Festival. But then, we mustn't forget that it's also Oktoberfest!

Here's hoping that I get freakin'-drunk. I kinda miss blowing my brains out by consuming tons of beer.

I asked a few of my friends to translate some lines for me which I think might come in handy (considering my luck with certain scenarios).

1) Maayong Aga!

- Good morning!

2) Wala ako sang bayu-ok, tambok lang gid ang akon guya.

- Wala po akong beke; mataba talaga ang mukha ko.

3) Indi ko gusto mag arkila sang alpot, callboy may ara kamo?

- I don't want to hire a prostitute. Callboy, meron kayo?

4) Tag pila ang isa ka kilo nga uga? Pwede i- pa gift wrap?

- Magkano po ang isang kilong danggit? Pwede po i-gift wrap?

5) (To be spoken to a holdaper) Ari ang akon kahita kag cellphone. Tani mag enjoy ka sa mga ina!

- Here is my wallet and my cellphone. I hope you enjoy them!

6) Hubog na ko pre. Hubog hubog na gid ko ya.

- I'm drunk, pare. I'm so drunk.

7) Ngaa nga wala ako bayo?

- Why am i naked?

8) Ano oras naga gwa ang mga aswang?

- Anong oras po lumalabas ang mga aswang?

9) Excuse lang, ano palihug ang ngalan sang gwapo nga waiter nga ina?

- Excuse me, could you tell me the name of that good-looking waiter?

As you can see, I tend to get veeeeery weird when I'm drunk.

Try and follow me, children:

A kinda loves B, but B doesn't love A. Not in the same way A loves B, anyway. I initially thought the feeling was mutual but apparently not.

Nowadays, A says he's over B, but then their still too close for comfort. They're all touchy-feely with each other, and believe you me, people have wondered whether there's something going on between the both of them.

I've asked B about this and he says he loves A but it's only the bestfriend-kind-of-love thing and he doesn't want anyone thinking maliciously about them both.

Honestly, B can be such a self-righteous prick sometimes.

Now, to make matters more complicated, C jumps into the picture. C, so he says, is in love with A.

When they started becoming close, I thought there was something going on between A and C, because in all honesty, I could see that there was mutual attraction. I wouldn't have been suprised if I found out that they'd had sex. But apparently, says C, they have not done anything remotely close to sex. Hmmm, o sige, fine.

But more recently, A has become a bit estranged with C. Which I think is a good thing, since it's bound to end in tragedy. A says he wants C to be "over na" with his feelings for the former.

C, meanwhile, acts like a lovelorn fool and does a lot of unmentionables. The boy just can't stop thinking of A.

Now, B is still oblivious to the chaos around him. Heck, he doesn't even know that two other characters, let's call them E1 and E2, are in love with him. What's more weird is that there are rumors spreading that something is also going on between E1 AND E2! Waaaaah!

Ang ganda talaga ng lola B niyo. Nasa kaniya na ang korona!

But wait, there's more!

Then here comes R, who is a new character to the group. He has the look of someone who would break your heart and yet you'd still go back to him for seconds. Mukha siyang bad boy, but in a good way.

I'm pretty sure he's going to be more than a catalyst to the volatile group.

Is it just me or am I just watching a rerun of Melrose Place?