Sep 2007

I haven't told y'all about McNuggets, right?

Well, he's this crush of mine. Crush lang naman eh.

He's cute. Really cute.

And God I hope he isn't reading this.

Well, anyway, I just found out he's leaving.

Sigh.

It's not like I had any plans of telling him anything. I just really liked him.

As in.

He's cute. Talaga. And so nice to me. Whenever he smiles at me, nakakalimutan ko si Sunshine.

And everytime we talk, I lose all eloquence. I can barely look at him.

Ang cute niya kasi. Ahihihi.

So long, farewell, auf wiedershin, goodbye sweet McNuggets!!!

This Saturday, the 15th of September, will be my last weekend off.

My new rest days are Monday and Tuesday. Balik sa dati. 9PM pa rin.

And surprisingly enough, I'm actually ok with it. It means I get to spend less time with Sunshine.

Maybe this is the only way for me to be over him. Hay.

Plus, I won't spend too much. Having Saturdays off can be painful on the wallet. Panay gimik eh.

Aaaand, Christmas and New Year's fall on a Monday. Sooo, if I don't have any plans for the holidays, I'll probably swap rest days with someone and work during those days. Double pay pa!

However, this coming Saturday, I'm going to make sure I party till I drop! Go out with a bang!

Lasing kung lasing, sayaw kung sayaw! BED here I come!

• This entry occured only in my dreams... in my wet wet wet dreams....

9PM: Sinundo ako ni Behbeh sa apartment ko sa Guada.

Zac: Hey babe! Jesus! You look great!

He hands me a bouquet of pale pink tea roses.

Me: (pa-demure) Eeeeh. Ano baaaa?

Zac comes close and imprisons me in his muscled arms.

Zac: Are you ready to paint the town red with me tonight, sweetie?

Me: Pecha de peligro pa ngayon. Ala ako pera.

Zac: Don't worry your cute li'l nose, snookums. Tonight, it's all about you. I'll take care of you, cupcake.

Me: O sige, gusto ko sa eat-all-you-can tayo kumain ha?

We head to Fat Michael's. It's this little house-turned-resto in Bangkal. Their rosemary chicken salad is to die for.

Zac: Order anything you want, honey-cured. It's all on me.

Me: Mag-salad lang siguro ako. Para naman pumayat na ako.

Zac: Are you crazy?! I don't want you getting thin! I love your curvacious, voluptuous, crazy-beautiful body. In fact, I even bought a bucket of KFC along with me just in case the food here isn't enough for you.

A bucket of chicken magically appears in his hands.

Zac: I want you to finish everything! But don't use your hands. I don't want them getting soiled. Here, let me feed you...

Me: Okay, pero mag-alcogel ka muna. Amoy Vanessa Hudgens yung mga kamay mo eh. Hmpf.

Zac: Porkchop, don't think about that ugly old teeny-bopper! She's gone! You're the only one in my life right now. No one else.

Me: Asus. Neknek mo. O siya siya! Isubo mo nga sa akin yang breast part ng manok. Pero isawsaw mo muna sa gravy.

While I'm eating, he croons out "Breaking Free" and his version of "Ikaw ang Lahat Sa Akin", which sounds ridiculous with his accent. I laugh so hard, gravy and chicken skin come out of my nose.

After dinner, we head to Malate. We enter BED and all eyes are on us. All the homos in the bar are cruising my behbeh but his eyes are only focused on me. Nadadapa na nga siya kasi di siya tumitingin sa dinadaanan niya eh.

Gabriel and Dresden is currently playing and the people on the floor are shaking their groove thing.

Zac: Mocha Roll, let's show this people how to dance!

Me: Okay ka lang? Di ako marunong sumayaw ng ganiyan noh? Ballroom lang alam ko.

Zac: That's even better! I love ballroom!

So we proceed to do the chacha to the tune of Gabriel and Dresden's "Tracking Treasure Down". Medyo mahirap kasi di kami sabay sa beat pero kebs na.

The people on the raised platform make space for the both of us and all eyes are watching us.

After four hours of non-stop groping and grooving on the dance floor...

Me: Pagod na ako. Make buhat me to the car and hatid me na.

Zac: Sure thing, my sweet pianono.

He carries me piggyback style.

Once in the car, he keeps looking at me and making subo pulvoron to me.

Zac: Sweet Ham, you want to go to Tagaytay? Maybe eat some, what do you call that dish you love again? Boo-lah-loh?

Me: Keri lang.

Zac: Oh, my sweet potato! I do so love your appetite!

I sigh and look out the window, gazing at the approaching fog which covers everything; the landscape, the sky, and even the truth.

Me: I know, Behbeh, i know...

[*]Kapag nasugatan ka, may lalabas na kung anu-ano sa sugat mo; tulad ng kanin, eroplano, pari, bato, at minsan, pag sinuwerte ka, piso.

[*]Kapag naging malikot ako or di ako sumunod sa utos ni Inday, kakainin ako ng Undin na nakatago sa Coleman jug sa ilalim ng lababo namin.

[*]Dapat ubusin ko lahat ng pagkain na ihain sa akin, kasi iyong mga kapitbahay daw namin, mga aswang, at mahilig kumain ng mga batang pihikan (kaya pala ako mataba!).

[*]Kay Inday ko natutunan ang expression na "Kadiritudit!" (kadiri-to-death).

[*]Kapag ginigising ako ni Inday para sa school, ganito ang opening spiel niya: "Piglet! Piglet! Bangon na! Kungdi uubusin ko iyong niluto kong longganisa!"

[*]Kay Inday ako natutong gumamit ng mga daliri para magsukat ng tubig na gagamitin para sa pagluto ng bigas (kaso sabi niya wag na wag ko daw gagamitin ang sarili kong mga daliri kasi masyado raw mataba ang kamay ko at baka daw sumobra ang tubig at maging lugaw ang kanin. Hmp.)

[*]Kapag may bisita akong babae noon, di niya inaasikaso. Masyado pa raw ako bata para magkabisita ng babae. Pero kapag mga boys naman ang bisita ko, parang fiesta ang handa niya. Kaya kay Inday ako natutong maging bakla.

[*]Si Inday ang nagturo sa akin na dapat daw lagi akong matulog pagkatapos ng tanghalian. I think ang totoong dahilan niya ay para di ako agad antukin sa gabi para may kasama siya manuod ng Maricel Drama Special at Vilma!

"That I would be good even if I lost sanity.
That I would be good,
Whether with or without you."

- Alanis Morissette

Familiar scene: Sunshine and I sitting on a street corner, midnight, smoking.

He was extremely depressed and asked me if I could do him the courtesy of smoking as well.

There goes my three-week streak of not smoking...

So, again, Sunshine and I sitting on a street corner, midnight, smoking.

"I want him, but I don't want it," he said, quietly, looking at his hands.

He was telling me how sad he was that the person he loved could never truly reciprocate.

At heto naman akong si gagong in love sa kaniya, nakikinig sa problema niya at nag-iisip ng advise na maipapayo.

Abangan niyo na lang ang pag-canonize nila sa akin bilang saint sa Vatican.

I sighed, "You love him. The question is, does he have the same feelings for you?"

He was quiet, and then said, "I think he does, I do know he's attracted."

"Attracted? Ano kayo magnets?" I laughed, but got no response from him, "Fine, eto bang attraction na ito, you think it can lead into something more? Something that might be remotely close to how you feel for him?"

Sunshine was quiet still, then shrugged his shoulders.

Naiinis na ako, "Look, I'm sure you know, you may just have trouble accepting the truth."

I know, I know, I was being a bit blunt with him, pero intindihin niyo naman yung nararamdaman ko during that time. Puta, ansakit rin nun ha!

But because I had no aspirations to having a relationship with him, I was content being just a friend.

Haay. PS = Pakshet.

"What do you plan to do?" I asked him.

"What can I do?" Sunshine sobbed.

We remained quiet for about ten minutes, just smoking.

"Sorry ha?" Sunshine whispered.

"Bakit?" I asked, surprised.

"Puro na lang drama dala ko sa iyo," Sunshine replied.

"Asus, wag ka nga baduy. Ok lang yun," I said, and then added jokingly, "Pero minsan naman, subukan mo namang flowers ang dala mo para sa akin."

Sunshine laughed, "Hahaha! O sige, promise, one of these days, I'll give you flowers. Para sa lahat ng tulong mo."

Anakngputanamanoh.