KFC, 3AM, Lunchtime:
"I want to ask you a question, beks," Amorsolo asked me seriously, while dipping his bread roll in my cream of mushroom soup, "And I want you to answer me truthfully."
"Hmmm?" I inquired, my mouth full with chicken, rice, and gravy (with a dash of cold dalandan juice).
"Gusto mo ba si Schnitzel?" he asked, looking me straight in the eyes, reminding me of Boy Abunda before he asked his guests to gaze into his "mahiwagang salamin".
Schnitzel is this guy from work. Medyo close kami ni Schnitzel and I think people have misinterpreted our closeness for something else. Honestly, people can be so green-minded.
I swallowed my food, wiped my mouth, and stared at him, all seriousness, "Hindi."
"Promise?" Amorsolo asked again.
I was curious as to why Amorsolo kept asking me this. There was definitely something weird going on. Unless...
"Oh my God. Type mo si Schnitzel!" I blurted out, the truth finally dawning on me.
Amorsolo giggled and blushed like a school girl from Assumption.
"Aha! Sabi ko na nga ba!" I said, "No wonder you act so differently around him."
"Ahihihihi! Halata ba ako, beks?" Amorsolo asked, wiping the corners of his mouth daintily with a tissue.
"I guess not since ngayon ko lang na-figure out," I replied, "Pero bakit ngayon mo lang sinabi sa akin?"
Amorsolo quipped, "Eeeeeh, akala ko kasi gusto mo siya eh. It would be so not posh if we fell for the same guy, di ba?"
"Ummm... ok," I said.
"Sa tingin mo ba, may chance kaming maging posh couple?" he asked me curiously.
"May chance naman, I guess," I said, "In fairness, he's a top and you're a power-bottom."
"Top siya?" he asked.
"Yup," I confirmed, "And according to rumors, he's fantastic in bed. Bawat sulok daw ng kuwarto gagamitin niya."
"Ayeeeee!!! Talaga?" Amorsolo shrieked, reminding me of Kris Aquino in her movie, The Vizconde Massacre.
"Yupyup," I answered.
I continued, "But you have to know this, beks, his heart belongs to someone else."
"Ay. May dyowa ba siya?" Amorsolo looked down-trodden.
"Wala naman. Pero he hearts someone daw," I answered.
"Well, at least di pa sila mag-on," he said.
"Yup, puwedeng-puwede mo pang sirain ang relasyon in its early stages," I said.
Amorsolo pondered this thought, gazing at the table. I think iniimagine niya na kung ano ang magiging pet names nila sa isa't-isa.
"Beks, wag masyadong mahuhulog ang loob mo sa kaniya ha?" I advised him, "He's a heartbreaker, if I ever did see one."
Amorsolo nodded, "I know that naman, beks."
I was curious, "What did you see in him ba?"
He giggled again. Parang kinikiliti ang pwet, "He's so posh kasi eh. And I just loooove the air of mystery. Parang bad guy na babalik-balikan mo."
He took a sip of his drink before he continued on, "Plus, feeling ko we would make such a posh couple."
I nodded non-committally.
"Ang tanong, gusto mo bang malaman niya na gusto mo siya?" I asked him.
"Eeeeeh!" he answered girlishly, "I dunno eh. Would it be posh if I asked you to make hirit sa kaniya na may slight crush ako sa kaniya?"
"I guess I could manage that," I answered.
"Pero don't make me look desperate ha?" Amorsolo scolded me, "I just want to spend this posh Christmas with a posh boyfriend in my posh arms."
Amorsolo, ladies and gentlemen...