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Malice in Wonderland...

A Meeting of The Fallopian Friday Friends...

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"Kaya pumutok ang appendix mo, kasi bakla ka," ang explanation ni Ina Magenta.

I was having an early breakfast in North Park in Makati Avenue with Schoolboi, Pasha, and, of course, ang always-happy-keps na si Ina Magenta. We call ourselves The Fallopian Friday Friends.

"Excuse me?" tanong ko sa kaniya, habang nginunguya ang fried bean curd na in-order ko. Ito lang ang naisip ko na hindi masyadong fattening sa North Park.

I love North Park's food pero seryoso na talaga ako sa diet ko. As God is my witness, sesexy rin ako at magiging balingkinitan. Tapos magkakaroon ako ng poging boyfriend na mestizo, marunong kumanta't magluto, at may sariling kotse.

Anyway, mabalik tayo sa kaibigan kong si Ina Magenta.

"Simple lang," ang patuloy na sagot niya, "Makasalanan ang buhay niyong mga bakla kaya pinaparusahan ka ni Baby Jesus. Pinaputok niya ang appendix mo para matuto ka nang makipag-relasyon sa babae."

Nagkatinginan kami nina Pasha and Schoolboi.

"Crazy bitch," sabi ni Pasha.

"She's kidding," sabi ni Schoolboi.

"Nalaglag sa kuna siguro yan nung baby pa siya," suhestiyon ko naman.

"We could also look at it from a different perspective, baka naman pinagbibigyan ka na ni Baby Jesus," sabi pa ni Ina Magenta, "I mean, at least now natupad na rin ang matagal mo nang pangarap na magkaroon ng sariling hiwa? Oh di ayan, you're on your way to being a natural woman!"

Binato ko siya ng wanton chips habang tawa ng tawa sina Pasha at Schoolboi.

Apparently, "open relationship" na silang dalawa, which means they're kinda together, but free to fuck around with others.

Haaay. Mga kabataan nga naman ngayon. Kunsabagay, kung kamukha ko siguro si Pasha, malamang promiscuous na rin ako.

I didn't think it was possible pero mas lalo yatang naging hot si Pasha. His body is more muscular and toned dahil nahilig na raw siya sa capoeira.

Si Schoolboi naman, medyo tumaba pero pogi pa rin.

"Is that really the only dish you're eating?" asked Schoolboi.

I nodded, "Takot na akong kumain ng marami eh. Since nasimulan ko na ang weight loss sa hospital, I might as well keep at it."

Pasha said eagerly, "That's good! You should join me sa capoeira classes ko. Masaya siya, swear. Plus, hotties galore!"

"I don't think keri ko ang capoeira," sabi ko.

"Ang ibig mong sabihin, di mo ma-keri ang katawan mo sa capoeira, baka madaganan mo pa si Pasha," ang singit naman ni Ina Magenta.

"Pekpek mo tabingi," bulong ko.

"Ano kamo?" tanong niya.

"Sabi ko paabot ng chili sauce."

"I think you can eat lots of food naman eh, it's just that dapat sabayan mo rin ng maraming workout," suggestion ni Schoolboi, "If you want, isama kita sa gym ko sa Glorietta, you can get in free so we can work out together."

Medyo namula ako dahil medyo bastos ang naisip kong workout na gusto kong gawin namin ni Schoolboi.

"Wag ka na magpapayat, ok naman itsura mo eh," sabat ni Ina Magenta.

"Wow, is that a compliment?" tanong ko.

"No, just an observation," sabi niya, "Di ka naman katulad nung ibang mataba na madugyot tignan eh. Ilong lang naman ang problema sa mukha mo eh. Other than that, you look fine."

"Thanks... I think," mahina kong sagot.

"Ano bang weight mo ngayon?" asked Pasha.

"275lbs ako nung pumasok ng Manila Doctors," sabi ko, "Paglabas ko, 268lbs na lang ako. That was in a week, ha."

"Para ka lang nanganak!" sabi ni Ina Magenta, "Siguro, pag pinabawasan mo ang ilong mo, mas lalo kang gagaan!"

Tangina talaga tong lintek na babaeng to.

:)

Posted by callboi 18:05 Archived in Philippines Tagged gay_travel

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Comments

hilarious hilarious hilarious! :) :) :)

by lady_gaga

Hahaha grabe naman si Ina Magenta! Uber-judgmental! Pero witty.

by wapaks

You look cute, Bookie. Don't ever change.

by john_lloyd

mee 2..i agree u luk cute dow ur huge..i follow ur blog daily..im a big fan dow im not big in person..kidding aside love ur stories..u can put hanger on my mouth while lafin my ass out..lol...

by albert

try watching the biggest loser.. Makakainspire sya! Kahit payat ako, I find it really inspiring kasi may mapupulot ka, self-discipline.

Shucks I really wanna see Schoolboi and Pasha na. Like, nakakapaglaway naman ang pagdescribe mo sa kanila! Nyahaha! Sana may friends akong tulad nila!

Ina Magenta is sooo funny! Love her!

by Mariah

Hahhaha!!
Thanks for that post...

na curious naman ako kay pasha at schoolboi...
hhmmmm....

I wonder how they look like.

by vondraye

Hmmm looks like bookie is back with a vengeance... he's blogging a lot heheh =) that's good news for us readers...

by kumagcow

I think Bookie doesn't need to lose weight just because. But I would say that Bookie would have to lose weight for a healthier lifestyle.

Go Bookie!

by guyrony

Actually Bookie di mo naman talaga kelangan magpapayat eh kasi marami nagmamahal sayo the way you are. Yun nga lang, because of health reasons kaya ka inaask na magdiet. Everything about you is perfectly fine.

by ccslave

to blog ownah.., i wanna meet uw..hit mee wif message anytime soon in YM scream301@yahoo.com..send u sum of my pic but dont now how???..wishin dat ur gonna lyk me..and maybe ur gonna lyk to put me on ur top ten LIST...wanna bet???

by albert

@ccslave & guyrony: I totally agree with you two.

It's more of Health reasons rather than how Bookie looks. A lot of people love him as he is.. and more people would love him if he stays healthy. =)

Cheers everyone; to a Healthful Lifestyle! ♥

by averyspecialagent

what? wla si mabentang renz? ehehehe..sana sinabi mo kay Ina Magenta na ang linis linis nya at wala syang bahid ng kasalanan...pero malay mo, ito na nga ang simula ng weight loss chuva! ako din im trying din...ehehe..at take note hindi fattening ang dark chocolate! :D

by amethyst

Sakin na lang si pasha

by jolas

HAHAHAHA!.. tawa ako ng tawa dito sa station ko

by FDA

Ina Magenta is alive! hahaha!
super kwela! =D

by ragga

umaariba na si bookie buq! Go lang friend!

by bonicole

hahaha! uber cute ng barkadahan nyo "The Fallopian Friday Friends" hehehe...it's so nice to hear that you're okay after the operation...ina magenta supremacy! funny ng kwentong toh kasama ang mga kaututang dila mo..LOL!

by tombs07

i love this blog. hope to meet you in person bookie. im a bog fan of yours.

by takingchances

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