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The Erect Effect...

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Dear beautiful readers,

This is quite a long email from a fan but I hope you'll read it through. It's really quite... interesting, ahehehe. I loved reading it and I hope you do, too. Plus, I'm curious as to what advise you would give to him.

Read on....

- bookie -

  • *************************

hi bookie!

I don’t know if I need your advice, the advice of your most ‘expert’ friends or I just want someone to listen. Ewan ko. I’ve been reading your blog from the oldest entries up until the latest ones just to get through my shift on the 5th floor. Ang galing mo talaga, bookie! I want to tell you that personally kaso I’m easily intimidated with people that have a strong persona or loud voice, ehehe. Anyway, napapagod na kasi ako sa office and what’s worse is kahit mababait ang officemates ko (which is the normal excuse why some of us can’t leave) I never really had close ones kaya it really doesn’t help (no offense po, iba lang kasi yung mabait sila and at the same time kaibigang matalik mo rin and that their feelings would truly matter to you if ever you decide to leave). Kaya yun your blog is like a bible to me. Para bang isa na sa mga tools ko na binubuksan eh yung URL mo. So yun nga, in the end, I’m still the bored boring loner na gusto pa ring umalis. I’m hanging by the thread and slowly slipping away. Malamang kilala mo ako. I’m the ugly / loner ‘TE agent (yes bookie, pareho tayong may self-esteem problem, kidding!) na nasa sulok palagi. I think napagkamalan din akong in-the-closet but I’m not. I just don’t talk much kaya people think I was.

Ang haba ng opening ko no? Ang daming satsat. The thing is, medyo hardcore ang sasabihin ko, so I want you to at least feel familiar with me, kahit konti. Bakit ‘medyo’ hardcore? Read along.

It’s about this cute guy I saw in a social networking site (not the one you always mention on your blog {although, I’m a member of that too!} G4M ata or gayromeo yung madalas mong i-mention, ewan ko). He sent me a message replying to a message I’ve sent him weeks ago. He gave his number. Excited naman ako. Katatapos ko lang sabihin, through text, sa isang guy na na-meet ko sa G4M (at na-EB ko sa glorietta) na ayoko munang makipag-relasyon kasi natatakot pa akong makipagrelasyon (na totoo naman) pero ang dahilan talaga eh alang spark. Ayoko maniwala sa spark noon pero parang totoo pala. Ehehe. Pero pagkatapos na pagkatapos noon eh inimail ko agad si cute guy! Ang sama no? naging choosy pa ako eh ang pangit ko naman. (ang sama ko talaga, shet!) eh gusto ko yung isa eh. And so we decided to meet.

This is the second time na nakipagmeet ako using a dating site. 1st was with G4M guy, 2nd was this cute guy from another site. Nagdecide kami magmeet sa place ko sa vito cruz after ko magwork. Dayoff niya so masaya! Up until then at least.

Nung nagkita kami. Casual. Usap. Lunch. The works! Nanood kami ng corny dvd tapos, nacornihan kami. We decided to sleep. Na syempre hindi naman talaga sleep.

When we were doing the foreplay. Sobrang aggressive ko. Hindi ko akalain. Kasi ang alam ko as gayromeo account ko ‘more bottom’ ang nilagay ko. Yun ang lagi kong naiimagine kapag naghahanap na ako ng tipo ko. yung submissive ako. Now, Before I tell you the rest of the story please be reminded that I’m a virgin. The last intimate thing I did was French kiss with a US marine at Cebu on December 1, 2007 na may ka-live in na hooker (biro mo? mangaagaw lang ako sa hooker pa. ehehehe!). So parang kailangnan ko na talaga. Ahahaha! So balik tayo dun sa sobrang aggressive part. Yun na, hindi sya makahinga. Nakahiga kasi sya eh. Nadaganan ko ata masyado. Ginawa ko agad yung gusto kong gawin. Ang kumain ng Hungarian. Muwahaha! Sobrang ang tagal kong gusto gawin yun na I want him to finish right there, at that position. Pero he gave me a signal to slow down, ayaw niyang matapos agad. When he was about to give me a ‘head’. That bad thing happened. Let’s put it this way… my genitals failed me. Kaya ko sabing ‘medyo’ kanina kasi we never really finished.

I don’t know what happened, bookie. I liked him. I know he tried his best pero wala talagang ‘sale’. Ehehe. After minutes. Nakita ko sa kanya ang disappointed look. Ang tagal kong inantay yun. Bakit ganun? Ewan ko. Aargh! I tried to ask myself anung rason. Here are the possibilities:

1. 24 hours na akong gising before we did it. I’ve asked a healthy hetero-guy. He said he still could do it kung merong available. Well, he’s a guy and I’m gay, he’s healthy and I smoke 7 cigs a shift as my food. You judge. Tanungin mo nga gay friends mo. What’s their take on this?

2. Mahiyain ako. That’s my nature. Most or the time I couldn’t even urinate at the urinal. Kailangan sa cubicle, otherwise, hindi talaga ako makakaihi. Hindi ko pa ata kayang maging hubad sa harap ng tao. Anu pang ikakahiya ko eh hubo’t hubad nako nun. Shet.

3. I’m neurotic. A bit. Just my own diagnosis. I tend to think of my problems more and more. I would tend to have both daydreams and nightmares of one specific frustration. Like the recent one I’ve been telling my friends. I lie awake (and when I say lie awake I MEAN lie awake, no moving-out-of-bed-stuff) for more that six hours thinking when will I be able to buy my dream PC. That same early morning after I fell asleep I had a nightmare that I was being robbed-off my ‘dream’ PC and I woke up screaming and sweaty. Ayaw na talaga akong patulugin ng mga frustrations ko, and that's just one of 'em. Sabi nila when you’re doing the deed, focus on the pleasure, don’t think of anything else. Hindi ko ata kaya. From the way I’m itemizing these possibilities, you can bet I’m still neurotic about what happened and OC too!

4. A best friend of mine said: ‘you need to focus on your pleasure first’ sex is not just about the other but it’s about you too. Medyo tama sya because I was only focusing on his pleasure then. Ni hindi ko nga inimagine kung ano ang gagawin nya sakin eh.

5. Another friend told me that it’s about trust. Being that I’m a shy guy, I need to build trust through long-term relationships before I do it. Sa pagkakakilala nya raw sakin I’m not the type daw na mag-oopen up agad socially, maybe it applies to my sexual life as well. We need to take it slow, parang ganuna ata. I really can’t tell ‘cause it’s my first.

6. Baka naman lalaki ako at gusto ko talaga ng tahong… eeew (NO,NO,NO! Ayoko!)

7. O baka naman ‘Madonna Whore’ syndrome. Yung tipong hinahangaan mo lang kasi ang gwapo, ang ganda ng katawan pero sobrang nirerespeto mo na ayaw mong bastusin. Imposible… sinubo ko na yung Hungarian eh anu pang respeto dun. Ehehehe.

8. O baka baog ako. Hindi ko ata kaya tanggapin ‘to.

Ang daming possibleng dahilan at lahat naglalaro sa isip ko ngayon. I was lucky that he is willing to stay with me ‘till we work it out. As of the meantime nagpipigil muna ako hanggang magkita kami ulit. Baka kailangan ko lang ma-excite. Ang daming kong sinabing dahilan na baka nasagot ko na ang sarili kong tanong pero, your opinion would still matter to me bookie. Kahit hindi kita nakakausap sa ops.

Send me a message with your answer! ;)

Cheers!

Kalungkutan101

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Dear Kalungkutan101,

First of all, let me tell you that I really enjoyed reading your letter. It was... refreshing, to say the least. :)

Ang haba ng email mo, marse. I definitely sense the neuroses and OC-ness in you.

I won't try to guess who you are sa team natin, pero I have a vague idea na.

Anyway, in regards to your failure to "raise the flag", something you wrote kinda struck me as the possible reason for it.

Marami kang reasons na na-propose pero I think they are just the footnotes of the real problem.

Sabi mo di ba you're more of a bottom, and that you sincerely like being submissive and being dominated.

Don't you get it?

Maybe you don't like being "serviced"?

Kumbaga, ang gusto mo, ikaw ang kumakain, at ayaw mo ng ikaw ang kinakain.

Gets?

I've known homosexuals na ganoon ang trip. Gusto nila, sila ang lumuluhod at sumasamba, dehins nila trip ang reciprocation. They're all about the worshipping.

And almost all of them are submissive bottoms.

Don't quote me on this, but I have a feeling that submissive bottoms like the idea that they are the "females" in the bedroom, and their fantasy is na straight ang guy na dino-do nila. And as we all know, no straight guy would ever eat a meaty banana.

It kinda screws up the "straight-guy fantasy" if your partner suddenly exhibits signs na mas hayok pa siya sa nota kesa sa iyo, di ba? Maybe that's the reason na hindi tumayo ang sagisag ng iyong laman. Baka na-off ka.

Pero again, don't quote me on that. That's just a theory of mine.

I'm sure there are others out there that are even weirder.

Let's see what the readers have to say.

Readers, care to comment?

Love, lust, and lechon,

- bookie -
akosicallboi@gmail.com

Posted by callboi 01:19 Archived in Philippines Tagged gay_travel

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Comments

i totally agreee with your observation bookie, i dont want to say this but if im doing it, mas gusto ko na my partner would treat me like a girl in bed... yung tipong sinasamba nya ang katawan mo? alam mo yun? pero it really depends on what you like. i have friends na they dont want others to touch their private part when doing it... (ewan ko ba kung bakit pa nila ginagwa kung in the first place)

and regarding the other person giving a head... i think he just wants you to enjoy the moment... one way to say it he just wants to be fair... (maganda nga yan eh... at least di sasakit ang jaw mo.. ika nga me pahinga ka naman...) and if i recall it well sabi mo nag kita kayo after ng shift mo? di kaya dahil yan sa pagod mo sa work kaya ayaw ni manoy mag work? rest day din sya cguro... or baka naman sya magaling magdala? or hindi nya nakuha ang kiliti mo...

kalungkutan101: i really dont think your much of a loner... cguro you havent found your group of people... kasi in my case i dont usually mingle with the people here sa work dahil hindi ko talaga nasasakyan ang mga gusto nila... pero im my hometown i have a group of friends na talagang nag jive ang mga gusto namin... from coffee to clothes... hang out place, minsan din sa mga men...

and lastly i dont think na tama na sabihin mo that your ugly... its all about self esteem... you may not excel sa ibang aspect ng buhay mo pero your have other talents... kailangan mo lang talagang maniwala sa self mo...knowing people in Planet Romeo... hindi sila basta basta makikipag EB kung hindi ka nila gusto... i should know kasi lagi akong na giging victim ng mga INDIANS (indianero na ka eb) :( pero wla akong paki-alam...hehehehehe

''wag mong hintayin na may maglandi sayo kung ikaw mismo ay hindi naglalandi sa ibang tao''

dito na lang po ako...

_TAR_

by overseas

baka super mega self service ka days before ng inyong meetup kaya sa actual day eh di ka na ginanahan. Im interested kung ano yang other gay dating site na yan ahihi!!! Share naman please haha

by kemedu

OO nga.. i agree with bookie.. baka naman.. you don't like being serviced.. ganyan kasi yung friend ko.. Sabi niya... he takes pleasure in giving pleasure to his partner. :)

by Dhon

My take? hmm i don't know that much about gay guys but I'll try my best...

To tell you honestly, even straight guys end up like that. I remember this friend I had in college that ended up marrying the girl of her dreams... they had 2 kids and all but after all that success, he told me he had problems down there... when he confided that to me... I thought he was joking, but he wasn't... he was dead serious... after being a playboy and a ladies man all of those years, he ended up like that... but I told him, it is just stimulation, health and age that he's got to worry about. Minsan naman its just all in the mind. You don't know or you have no idea where your pleasurable side is...ang ending eh para kang manghuhula kung MA EL ka ba o hinde... minsan feeling mo lang...

Siguro, nakuha mo na din ang gusto mo kaya tumigil ka na dun... minsan kasi ganun naman talaga eh... wag mu na din pilitin itayo ang bandila mo girl kung tapos mo na ang panatang makabayan... tsaka minsan kasi panget tingnan pagka pink ang bandila hehe =P

Ang point ko? tapos ka na, akala lang ng partner mo kelangan ka pa iserbis para masuklian efforts mo... ikaw din akala mo lang kelangan pa yun para maligayahan ka pa pero your happiness was just as short as your hungarian sausage meal...

My suggestion? You do more foreplay... and enjoy that as much as you can.... it can take you places where you can discover your own ORGAS*S... and be happy about it in the end... after all one time big time lang yung ginawa nyo and it was not enough to make you feel the moment... ang haba na nito OC din ako eh kaya tama na LOL

by kumagcow

Oh well.. For me.. Before you do it, setting expectation first. para walang frustration. :)

by Jijit-vates

Buquir wala akong maibibigay na advice sa kanya hehehehe ;p pero ang gus2 ko lng sabihin ay ang ganda ng picture sa entry na ito aylaveeet! heheee ;p

by missindia

Kalungkutan101: Since sabi mo you're new at this, why not "Explore" things more? Talk to him and have him search for your Erogenous zones to turn you on(or search it yourself hehe).. It kind of implies that you're new at this so aun. Try to leave your frustrations away from teh bed scene; of all the things na pwede mong isipin, un pa? Do yourself a favor and free yourself from all of it.. or at least try.


With regard sa sinabi ni bookie about you being "bottom", have you tried letting him enter you? Anatomically speaking, there's a spot inside us there that when stroked or stimulated, it can lead to erection. =) If that's too advanced for you, then just experiment with the erogenous zones first. The back of the ear, the chest, the inner thigh, are just some. You figure it out for yourself.

Good luck!

by rumorboy

hi kemedu,

www.gayromeo.com

thats the site!

=)

by jennifer tan

Well, yung take ni Bookie sa issue ni Kalungkutan 101 is somehow correct. Tulad ng mga comments ng iba dito, mas madalas sa minsan na iniexpect ng iba lalo na kapag 'bottomesa', eh gawin silang babae sa bed. So nagiging turn-off nga naman kung gagawin din ng partner mo yung ginagawa mo sa kanya, especially yung kainan part. Although, uso na ngayon ang 'service to the nation' at 'kapwa ko mahal ko' pero meron pa rin yung mga gays na gugustuhing gawin silang babae sa bed, of which, feeling ko eh ganun din ang gusto mo since 'more of a bottom' ka nga.

Marami talagang factors ang puwedeng nakaaffect sa erectile problem mo. Unang-una nga eh pagod ka kasi. Pangalawa, sabi mo masyado marami kang iniisip. Dapat kasi icondition mo yung mind mo sa kasalukuyang ginagawa mo. Kailangan din kasi na may focus ka habang nasa bed kayo.

At yung comment ni 'muggleheir', mas magandang hanapin ng partner mo yung kiliti mo para naman maarouse ka ng bonggang-bongga. Minsan medyo weird, pero puwede nyo namang pag-usapan muna kung ano ba ang magiging role ng isa't-isa sa bed. Who is who kumbaga. Sino ang bottom at sino ang top. Kung 88 ba or 69 ang mangyayari oh iba pa. Hehe. If everything fails, aba eh magpatulong ka na sa doctor.

by ccslave

hi, bookie. me and my wife are avid readers. id like to share my thoughts on this. yes, although i'm straight, i did have "experiences" with gays before, especially back in highschool days. i do agree with your point, and some of the people who commented. additionally, it may also be all of those things he mentioned coming together. one factor i definitely can attest to personally is cigarette smoking- it happened to me at a young age of 18, when supposedly every single hour of the day for no reason at all you are bound to have an erection. yes, i was too sexed up then (being newly confident about doing it with girls, compared to when i was in highschool) so it could be one of the reasons for me then having problem with erection. but soon after i followed our family doctor's advice to quit smoking, bumalik ang tikas ni junior. hehehehe. so, quit smoking and do the earth and likewise us all non-smokers a favor.

by house music addict

I wasn't able to read everything because it was too long. My eyes got a bit droopy, and I just wanted to comment.

Si Kalungkutan101. Maliwanag pa sa sikat ng araw tuwing alas-12 sa Sahara Desert, CONFEEERMED, siya ay isang botomesa.

by Paris

Walang problema sa kanya, confused lang siguro siya. Confused if he's a top or a bottom. Ngayon, wala na dapat confusion. Bottom ka, ger!

by Paris

hmmm, possible kaya na you prefer a relationship, and not just sex? have gay friends like that... ako kasi i'm female, sa lalaki i like reciprocation, but with a girl i like to be serviced lang, i don't like to reciprocate... or at least not yet haha... anyways, with a guy naman, di ko magawa lahat ng acrobatics and crazy stuff pag di ko love yung guy... ayun...

by queendiva

bottom ka period.. seguro ang may problema.. yung na partner mo sa bed.. hehe baka gusto rin niyang ng botoomless iced tea :(

by freak_me

bottomless ! haha (typo error)

by freak_ me

lol freak me, hahahahaha =)

by janina

I think it is because you are "still" a virgin kaya parang nawala dahil sa hiya at takot... (may ganon?). I think it is partly due to "psychosexual thingg" na you'd like to do it pero nahihiya ka to do it all the way. di ba ganyan din ang mga babae (at mga pusong babae)... feel ko need lang talaga ng katawan mo na ma-rape, yung pinupwersa ba... at oo... bottom ka nga...

by neo

Hmmm...I think.
1) Nakuha mo na ang gusto mo, kaya solved ka na. Parang yung pag ang crush mo, eh nagkacrush sa'yo,ayaw mo na.
2) Sorry to disappoint most of the readers but you just may be wrong. Hehehe :)

I think...that psychologically, YOU ARE really A DOMINATOR and not a submissive...

READ!
[Look it up CSI Las Vegas 2nd Season (2001)]
(GRISSOM shows LADY HEATHER a photograph he brought with him. It's of CAMERON and EILENE NELSON at a formal function. Both are speaking with a man.)
GRISSOM: Have you ever seen either of these two people?
LADY HEATHER: Not the wife, but I have seen the husband.
GRISSOM: I didn't say they were married.
LADY HEATHER: It's obvious. Look at the way he's clenching her hand with both of his and leaning toward her. And see how she's twisting away presenting herself to the wealthy alpha male? She's insensitive; he insecure. That's a setup for matrimony, not passion. She wants the dominant male to choose her so she can stop being dominant.

You get my point? If you enjoyed servicing, then you are THE dominator. Why? The outcome of his pleasure lies in your exacting strokes. You decide when he moans, he screams, he freezes and gasp for air. It's as if...if you stop, he could die.

Let's say me, I like to be serviced, to be controlled. But on the norms, no one will believe that. Why? I am a tough woman. Let's say you... mahiyain ka. Timid. Pero bakit ganoon di ba? It is because you want to stop being submissive that you turn-out to be the dominator in bed.

Parang yung laging sinasabi, patungkol sa mga pelikula natin. "Pamacho si lalaki,mahinhin si babae, biglang magkakaroon ng umaatikabong romansa.... tapos si babae,mahinhin ulit, na parang walang nangyari." Ilan sa mga kaibigan ninyong mahinhin at nauna pa sa inyo? (wink*wink*) =P

Adieu.
Lady Domme Maîtresse

by Maîtresse

Hi Jennifer Tan!

Thanks for the info!!! ok so akala ko some new site itey na di alam ng lola mo hehehe eh alam ko na din pala ang site na yun... pandagdag kaalaman lang if ever hihihi! anyway thanks!

XOXO,
kemedu

by kemedu

My take? When there's too much expectations on the first try, there's a bigger letdown. Stop thinking and focus on the sex! :)

And ps: practice makes perfect!

by Missus B

mahilig ka ba magjakol?. . Tumatayo ba bandera mo at least every early morning?. . .If not, u better consult a doctor. .baka meh problema sa erectile tissue mo. . .

by Romark

OW.Em.Gee!..I super relate to the story..Ganun, din ako..I did it..Pero, biglang nag lie-low din yung sa'kin..tama si Callboi sa sinabi nya..parang malakas na tama ng bato sa ulo ko.. ...Masakit, at bumukol pa..

by Macheta88

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