What if Zac Efron and I were dating? What if lang ha...
11.09.2007 -17 °C
- This entry occured only in my dreams... in my wet wet wet dreams....
9PM: Sinundo ako ni Behbeh sa apartment ko sa Guada.
Zac: Hey babe! Jesus! You look great!
He hands me a bouquet of pale pink tea roses.
Me: (pa-demure) Eeeeh. Ano baaaa?
Zac comes close and imprisons me in his muscled arms.
Zac: Are you ready to paint the town red with me tonight, sweetie?
Me: Pecha de peligro pa ngayon. Ala ako pera.
Zac: Don't worry your cute li'l nose, snookums. Tonight, it's all about you. I'll take care of you, cupcake.
Me: O sige, gusto ko sa eat-all-you-can tayo kumain ha?
We head to Fat Michael's. It's this little house-turned-resto in Bangkal. Their rosemary chicken salad is to die for.
Zac: Order anything you want, honey-cured. It's all on me.
Me: Mag-salad lang siguro ako. Para naman pumayat na ako.
Zac: Are you crazy?! I don't want you getting thin! I love your curvacious, voluptuous, crazy-beautiful body. In fact, I even bought a bucket of KFC along with me just in case the food here isn't enough for you.
A bucket of chicken magically appears in his hands.
Zac: I want you to finish everything! But don't use your hands. I don't want them getting soiled. Here, let me feed you...
Me: Okay, pero mag-alcogel ka muna. Amoy Vanessa Hudgens yung mga kamay mo eh. Hmpf.
Zac: Porkchop, don't think about that ugly old teeny-bopper! She's gone! You're the only one in my life right now. No one else.
Me: Asus. Neknek mo. O siya siya! Isubo mo nga sa akin yang breast part ng manok. Pero isawsaw mo muna sa gravy.
While I'm eating, he croons out "Breaking Free" and his version of "Ikaw ang Lahat Sa Akin", which sounds ridiculous with his accent. I laugh so hard, gravy and chicken skin come out of my nose.
After dinner, we head to Malate. We enter BED and all eyes are on us. All the homos in the bar are cruising my behbeh but his eyes are only focused on me. Nadadapa na nga siya kasi di siya tumitingin sa dinadaanan niya eh.
Gabriel and Dresden is currently playing and the people on the floor are shaking their groove thing.
Zac: Mocha Roll, let's show this people how to dance!
Me: Okay ka lang? Di ako marunong sumayaw ng ganiyan noh? Ballroom lang alam ko.
Zac: That's even better! I love ballroom!
So we proceed to do the chacha to the tune of Gabriel and Dresden's "Tracking Treasure Down". Medyo mahirap kasi di kami sabay sa beat pero kebs na.
The people on the raised platform make space for the both of us and all eyes are watching us.
After four hours of non-stop groping and grooving on the dance floor...
Me: Pagod na ako. Make buhat me to the car and hatid me na.
Zac: Sure thing, my sweet pianono.
He carries me piggyback style.
Once in the car, he keeps looking at me and making subo pulvoron to me.
Zac: Sweet Ham, you want to go to Tagaytay? Maybe eat some, what do you call that dish you love again? Boo-lah-loh?
Me: Keri lang.
Zac: Oh, my sweet potato! I do so love your appetite!
I sigh and look out the window, gazing at the approaching fog which covers everything; the landscape, the sky, and even the truth.
Me: I know, Behbeh, i know...