Conflict of Interests...

07.04.2009

Lev. 18:22, "You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination."

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My gay friend Harlowe and I were having lunch the other day sa isang karinderia. We were also having a somewhat heated argument.

Harlowe looked at me with his puppy-dog eyes, seemingly asking for forgiveness and understanding for what he just said.

"Bookie, alam kong kakaiba yung opinion ko pero that's just it. It's my opinion," Harlowe said, empathically, while spearing a piece of lechon kawali with his fork, "You of all people should know how to respect another person's opinon, di ba?"

Napalunok ako. Oo nga naman, opinion niya yun eh. Ano nga ba ang pakialam ko?

Pero hindi eh, parang may mali.

So I argued again.

"Harlowe, what I just don't get is how a gay guy can be against same sex-marriages?" I asked him for the nth time, "Gay guys are supposed to be about liberty and freedom and all that bohemian shit."

"Hindi mo ba naisip na mali na nga yung ginagawa natin, tapos mamaliin pa natin yung sacred ceremony of marriage?" Harlowe asked.

And I guess yun ang pinakaproblema ko sa argument niya. Mali ang tingin niya sa pagiging bading.

I always thought all gay guys were pro-same sex marriage. Apparently not. Throughout my long stay here in PS, and ever since I came out, I've gotten to know quite a lot of gay guys who aren't into the idea of same sex marriage.

Parang ang iniisip nila, kababuyan na nga ang pagiging bading, bababuyin pa ba namin ang simbahan?

Pero how can love be wrong? How can you qualify two people in love as sacrilegious?

Harlowe is a close and dear friend of mine. He's a smart, intelligent and talented guy (not to mention good-looking). He is also quite a devout born-again christian. Hence, his views on homosexuality are based on what he has learned from the bible.

I want to understand his flow of thoughts pero I'm having a real hard time, as he is with mine.

I've always prided myself in being open to other people's opinions pero I'm having trouble reconciling some gay guys' rejection of same-sex marriage.

I think its the deep-seated belief in most homosexuals na mali talaga maging homosexual.

And I can't accept the fact na mali ang pagiging bading ko. I will not ever. Bakla ako. So fucking what di ba? Does that mean na I can't have the right of heterosexuals to get married?

Centuries ago, people thought the earth was flat. That was proven wrong. Who's to say that in the future, malalaman ng mga tao na ok lang pala maging bading?

"Love is love is love," I told Harlowe, "If God had wanted me otherwise, He would have created me otherwise."

"Why are you so intent on the right to marriage? It's just a piece of paper," Harlowe asked.

What I couldn't explain to him then was the fact that I dream of getting married to Mr. Right in the future. I think marriage is the ultimate display of two people's love towards each other. It signifies more than a religious ceremony, it exhibits society's acceptance of their love.

Tapos gusto ko yung bouquet ko gusto ko isang bungkos na santan na pula tapos ang wedding singer si Jed Maddela (ang song ay "If I Believe" tsaka "Ako ang Nagwagi"). Garden wedding, or maybe beach wedding. Tapos ang food puro isaw at kwekwek (pero according sa menu, canapes and hors' douvres ang handa.)

Sabi ng isang supervisor-friend ko, "Gay guys who aren't ok with same-sex marriages just haven't truly accepted their homosexuality. Issues nila yun."

Or maybe they haven't met the right one. You know what, I read in an article that not all gay guys are happy that they are gay. Isn't that sad? It hurts my heart to hear something like that.

This is not a fault of theirs, obviously. Again, it all boils down to people's own opinions.

Pero nalulungkot talaga ako. Kung hindi matanggap ng mga bading ang sarili nila, paano pa kami matatanggap ng iba?

Mali ba talaga maging bading? Naguguluhan na ako.

Posted by callboi 12:21 AM Archived in Gay Travel | Philippines

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Comments

My opinion, books?
Some studies say na illness ang homosexuality. If so, you won't have control over it. Then that means hindi mali ang pagiging bading.
Some studies say it's influenced by society. If hahalukayin natin ang past mo for social influences, and found some, I guess hindi mo rin kasalanan yun.

What I think though, is that if you're not happy the way you are, gay or straight or bi, if you plan to live your life sad, devastated, and lost -- yun ang mali. I believe sacrilege is when you decide not to celebrate or live to the fullest the life God gave.

07.04.2009 by aubreybaby

pek-pek mo tatlo!!...ano na naman drama itey??

07.04.2009 by plok_plok

hi. i have written to you before about me and my wife being an avid reader of this blog, which you did post, thank you. i do agree with aubrey (not that she was my trainor but because of the following). i had a childhood friend whom i have always known to be hetero, but have come out later on when he already had a family. he asked my help as he did not want his family to be devastated, and we secretly worked on finding out as much as we can about homosexuality. we then ended up seeing a psychiatrist who did confirm about what we found out, which is very much the same as what aubrey said. in our modern society, which is largely founded on tolerance, it's not a surprise to see how homosexuality is spreading like a wildfire. it is a fact that every single person in this planet have a tendency for homosexuality. simply, those of you who are "out" found your happiness with your preferences, very much the same as those of us who are happily heterosexual.

07.04.2009 by curbside

hwag maguluhan callboi, mas masarap ang pekpek.....LOL

07.04.2009 by java101

99.9 percent of religious sects here in the world does not favor same-sex union simply because it is taught to be an abomination. It's already written in all Holy books that is available. Unless we can come up with a sect that will allow this type of union, then we can make it possible. But for now, let's just respect the ancient laws. If you can't, then quit your religion.

A good move though is for all of us to unite to make civil partnerships work here in the Philippines. Yun na lang, wag na marriage.

I oppose marriage not because I don't want to get married, but because I respect the sect that I am in as much as they respect me for not banning me to go to their place to enrich my spirituality.

07.04.2009 by Cowboy Ben

for sure gulo 'to. hahahaha! just give it a day or two, dami nang comments nito.

07.04.2009 by curbside

dapat equality for all! gays should be able to get married legally and avail of the legal rights that come with it! It's not about religion! It's about love!

07.04.2009 by callgirl

I agree with Callboi, gay guys who think same-sex marriages are not ok are themselves not ok with their own sexual preferences. Kaniya-kaniyang issues yan. I am pro-same sex marriage. But I think in our country, medyo imposible syang mangyari.

07.04.2009 by john_lloyd

I so agree to your friend callboi im sorry but I think he is right, God created man and woman para sa isat isa hindi man to man and woman to woman. Pero hindi ako galit sa mga lebs and gays I have lots of lesbians and few gay friends and I respect them Its just that Im not pro to same sex marriage.. see you!

07.04.2009 by patheticme

callboi, bakit ka kasi magwoworry sa opinion ng friend mo? ganito lang yan eh. nung naging bakla ka, humingi ka ba ng permiso ng iba? pinilit mo bang itangging bakla ka dahil may mga taong hindi pabor sa pagiging bakla mo?

kung gusto mong magpakasal, eh di go. matigas rin lang ang ulo mo eh di ituloy tuloy mo na. :p

07.04.2009 by baogers

at kaya hindi pabor si harlowe sa same sex marriage? yun ay dahil masarap din daw ang p*k*ek. ;p

ayan, ang discreet ha? LOL!

07.04.2009 by baogers

I am too, against same sex marriage. Its not being confuse or something on my preference. Kumbaga, wag natin pakialaman ang pagiging sacred ng ceremony. On the first place, we should think what is the essence of marriage. Don't think na because we are not married means we don't love each other. If love is what you seek, you can find it even in your self.

Just to clarify, Marriage is a ceremony, don't think its just a union of 2 person. If that only is your assurance of being bind to that person, that will not guarantee your happiness.

you ask your self this, Bakit ko ba gustong ikasal? Anu ba ang paniniwala mo about kasal? If you satisfy your self answering it. Then go we'll support you..(the gay community)..hehehehe

07.04.2009 by hypnotismo

Hi Buquir another winning entry! kudos to you :p let me just answer some mind boggling lines here
"Gay guys who aren't ok with same-sex marriages just haven't truly accepted their homosexuality".----> I totally disagree because I am happy with my gender preference yet I don't go for same sex marriage. I have nothing against with gays who would like to get married its their choice and I respect that but for me marriage is not a basis for you to have a successful relationship it still boils down to RESPECT, LOVE and TRSUT.

08.04.2009 by missindia

Mali ba talaga maging bading? ----> there is nothing wrong with being gay what is wrong is if you don't respect yourself but you ask respect from other people.

08.04.2009 by missindia

You know what, I read in an article that not all gay guys are happy that they are gay. Isn't that sad?----> Yes it is Buquir and the reason why they are sad simply because they keep on thinking of what other people will say because they are gay which should not be the case, instead if you think that there is a need for you to come out then go ahead and don't mind what other people will say about your coming out look at BB Gandanghari he has the peace of mind that he wants and he is so happy and fulfilled

08.04.2009 by missindia

I used not to believe in same sex nmarriage until I met the right "mytamtam". Ü
If we are to live our lives based on what is written in the holy scriptures, then all us of are immoral.

GOD is LOVE. When HE offered the ultimate sacrifice, it wasn't only for the straight ones. Homosexuals were included too.

Let he who has not sinned cast the first stone.

08.04.2009 by hot-speedo

We don't need marriage to consummate a perfect relationship. What we need is a legal avenue for us to enjoy whatever civil rights heterosexuals have.

08.04.2009 by Cowboy Ben

again, If we are to live our lives based on what is written in the holy scriptures, then all us of are immoral.

Let he who has not sinned cast the first stone.

08.04.2009 by hot-speedo

Before anything else, let us first ask ourselves, "Why do I want to get married?"

08.04.2009 by Cowboy Ben

I would have thought the answer was quite obvious, really...

08.04.2009 by callboi

A thing or act is being quoted as wrong or a sin if it is against the stupid morale set by the standards of society. The bottom line, as long as wala kang sinasaktang tao o naagrabyado, sa kanila na yung morale na gusto nilang ipagdiinan sayo. Gusto ko ang sinabi mo bookie, GOD is love, pag nagmahal ka ng kapwa mo, yun na yun. Di ba nga love , Mahalin mo ang kapawa mo, un naman ang utos ....

08.04.2009 by streytako

@ Hot-speedo - amen!

08.04.2009 by missindia

Wait, I'm not against marriage -- but only if it's a civil ceremony. We should not push it, though, to have a religious ceremony. We've sinned enough. Respect is earned.

08.04.2009 by Cowboy Ben

May I ask, in what way have we sinned?

08.04.2009 by callboi

Review your Bible then.

08.04.2009 by Cowboy Ben

No thanks, I think I've had enough scriptures to last me a lifetime.

08.04.2009 by callboi

@Cowboy Ben - I agree to all your opinions. I believe that Holy Matrimony is for the all the Hetero and Civil Partnership is for the Becky's in the Universe.

Marriage is intended to be a faithful, exclusive, lifelong union of a man and a woman.

That is why CIVIL PARTNERSHIP is lesser evil. hehehehehe

08.04.2009 by Virgin_Boy

I'm so tired of people hiding behind bible verses and religious mania. Who's to decide if homosexuals don't deserve the right to marriage? Honestly. The bible says you a lot of stuff that isn't totally in tune with common sense. Callboi has a valid point. No need to castigate him with fanatical beliefs about religion.

08.04.2009 by john_lloyd

Stop dragging dogmas in this topic after all we are not bible experts.

08.04.2009 by missindia

Amen!

08.04.2009 by callboi

I couldn't agree more to Aubrey. But things change, things evolve more likely than devolve. Each person matures uniquely from one another, count family, religion, geography, society, school, etc. People can be stubborn on their belief, but no matter how stubborn they are, if their, should I say prepossessions are questioned, consciously or subconsciously they will question themselves too. And later reconsider if their belief no longer works for them. Thus, alteration and some call it maturation of belief or thinking takes place.

Let's compare it to the dramatic change of the gay appearance. Ten years or so back, gay people tried to look superfeminine, but two, three, four years back, gay people started to look supermaculine. See our outlook changes depending on which works in the present time or what makes us happier.

That is why I don't get it sometimes why people choose to be sad.

09.04.2009 by parteeboi

""at kaya hindi pabor si harlowe sa same sex marriage? yun ay dahil masarap din daw ang p*k*ek. ;p
ayan, ang discreet ha? LOL!
07.04.2009 by baogers"" ------->>> oo masarap pa din ang femfem

10.04.2009 by java23

kudos bookie! this is one of the things you should be proud of yourself--your thoughts on such sensitive topics does open doors for a debate, and hopefully for resolution, kahit hindi para sa pangkalahatan.

i totally agree with parteeboi--everything changes. and as humans, we do need to evolve, not only physically, but mentally and spiritually with the changes in time. mind you, i am a Roman Catholic, and I do believe in love. But let's not forget that the Bible (I may sound blasphemous here) is a collection of proses and articles written by humans, na somehow naaayon sa current time. It is certainly a guide to shape us, but we don't really have to follow it text on text.
laws are created by individuals of long ago with the purest intentions of creating order in the society, but it doesn't mean that it is meant to be that way. as such, certain laws are subject to review and rewritten to suit the society's needs of today.
as with the context of marriage, the thought of binding two individuals who love each other is the main purpose of why marriage is considered in the eyes of the law. however, the law does not recognize that love evolves not only between opposite sexes nor consider the gender of whom it is catering to.
if you intend to "marry" the One, go ahead. as long as panatag ka na mahal mo yung tao, and marriage is a testament na you'll stand by your man no matter what that is to be made publicly, then i do hope that THAT day would come very soon for you.
as for the people who oppose, you have to also understand that Jesus, or God, does no prejudgement. certain scriptures in the bible displays how the Lord is very open to sinners who intend on showing their love in any way they can ( mary magdalene washing Jesus' feet for example), without the pressure of having to comply with being righteous. because if you think about it, tanggap tayo lahat ng Diyos, regardless of gender, views o panata sa buhay.

10.04.2009 by fridaygirl

my dear bookie,

God would not want to create you if He know if it's a mistake or a sin to be what you are right now.
Because of what you are, super happy ang E-157!

Trust me...

You're definitely a pearl in the ocean..
Hard to find, rare yet so attractive.

Just promise me, if you decided to settle down make sure he's the right one for you..

Because you deserve to be loved..

Muah..Muah

Miss you..

19.04.2009 by mylesaway

Hweh!

23.04.2009 by sexicon