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Paano kung kabarkada ko ang Gucci Gang?

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Paano kung naging kabarkada ko ang Gucci Gang?

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1. Siguro lagi kaming mag-aaway ni Tim Yap. Mayabang siya. Mayabang ako. Masikip ang mundo namin.

Tapos madalas, pupulaan ko yung mga suot niya.

“Bakit ka may nakasabit na teddy bear sa t-shirt mo?” I would ask him.

“Daaahling, it’s fashion! What else?” he would scoff, blowing smoke at my face.

“Pasyon? Anong pasyon-pasyon yan? Eh para kang koreanong lukaret na may stuff toy sa damit? Sino ka? Si Hello Kitty???”

“You are sooooo fashionably unaware!” Tim would laugh, swirling around his wineglass filled with free booze.

“Eh ikaw naman mukhang mongoloid!”

“Swine!”

“Koreanong bakla!”

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2. Kami naman ni Celine Lopez, magiging BFF’s. Kaso, I would always have this feeling na may tinatago siya sa akin.

Coming out of the bathroom:

I would say, “Girl, antagal mo naman sa loob ng banyo! Um-ebs ka ba?

Celine would giggle in a high-pitched tone, and shake her bony head, “Hell no! The comfort rooms here are heinous!”

I would notice some white powder on my bestfriend Celine’s nose, “Girl, may Johnson’s baby powder ka pa sa ilong mo. Grabe ka namang magpowder!”

Bestfriend Celine would then hurriedly take out her compact and check out her nose, “Oh fudge! Umm… yeah, sure, this is just baby powder… it’s totally not cocaine.” She would hastily wipe her nose clean.

“Ate, bakit parang pinapawisan ka?” I would ask, concerned, also taking note how her cheekbones seem to be protruding way too much.

“Ummm… it’s the music here, sweetheart! It makes my blood just pump like crazy! You know, like, CRAZY!!!” Celine would then start dancing like a possessed blender in the middle of the already cramped Embassy dance floor, “Whoooo! Shit! Life is fuckin’ good, bitches!”

I would hurriedly approach her, a little bit embarrassed by her behavior, “Girl, uso ba ang mood swings sa pamilya nyo?”

Celine would ignore me, grinding her hips against some foreigner’s crotch.

“Huuy, ano ba? Ang kati-kati mo! Umuwi na tayo! Bilis, baka mamaya wala na tayong aircon bus na maabutan, puro ordinary na lang, magwewet na naman yang kilikili mo sa init, sige ka,” I would start pulling on her arm.

Bestfriend Celine would just pull her arm away and scold me, “Quit it, sister! You’re, like, totally making me, like, crash!! Am just trying to have a little fun! Don’t be such a party pooper!”

She would then start French-kissing the foreigner she’s dancing with, as I back slowly away from her, confused and appalled by my bestfriend’s behavior. Que horror, I would whisper, que horror...

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3. DJ and I smoking sa smoking area:

“Let’s go to Boracay for the summer!” DJ gushes, looking like a deranged pedophile.

“Ayoko nga, utangan mo pa ako,” I would reply, blank-faced.

Posted by callboi 14:24 Archived in Philippines Tagged gay_travel

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Comments

I am loving it!!!...

lots of love,

She-ra

by She-ra

CaLLBoi.. mgco2kE kAh den KaYa?? :)

by PaLaBoi

r u mid-summer nights dreamin'???
hate tim yap too! he's so overrated! ;)

by gilmorgirl

i must say i was a bit disappointed you didn't stuff that teddy bear into tim yap's mouth. haha!
you outdo yourself with every entry callboi. gj! :)

by mike_test

Bukee gusto mo bigay ko yung isang Teddy Bear kong isa na covered in glitters? may blue and red na pwede mong isabit sa bag mo.

by Q_Amidala

Hehehe, thanks guys!

by callboi

hahahaha!! this is so fckin funny! keep it up callboi! and thanks for answering my email. I think i guessed them all, but i dont think ill get along with them. hahahaha!

by flirt

nice one!! keep it up..

by jhamwhoops

pass this on to brian gorrel!!! i love this entry cause lumabas ung pagka-poser mo! pero in real life i know you are a freeloader!!!! hahahaha! guys alam nyo ba na si callboi ay may ghost writer? something to think about lang... hahaha.

by zeroid

You being the authority on all things poser-related, I'd have to take your word for it, zeroid! Hahaha! It's true, may ghost writer ako. Si MNLClopez... none other than my BFF Celine Lopez!!! Kudos to you, bestfriend Celine, kudos to you... ♥

by callboi

weeehhh nde nga buquir?? may ghost writer ka?? i doubt it! walang girl na pde magsulat ng the way how you attack each and every rumors...very BAKLA ang dating eh hihihihihi :)

by missindia

@ missindia: true, true... no ghostwriter could possibly mimic my, ehem, cunning wit. Asus! Baka si Audie, gusto mag-apply na ghostwriter ko... :)

by callboi

Ooh! Me! Me! Pick me!
I wanna be your ghost writer!.. Pero I won't be able to keep YOUR promises. I'll blog whomever I want to blog about. Harharharhar!!

by aubreybaby

Buquir would you happen to know by any chance yang si zeroid?

by missindia

He's a good friend of mine. :)

by callboi

eh pano kung naging kabarkada mo si tina tinio? elaborate!!!!!

by paddy61

Hmmmm... Tina and I would probably end up bonding over slumber parties, wherein we would be surrounded by size zero models, eating cookie dough whilst braiding each other's hair. She and I would giggle and snicker secretly in a corner, wearing our hello kitty pajamas (and gossiping about how much we really hate Mitch Dulce, that fat fashionista), making up mean insults about the airhead models who manage to get all the attention from the boys. But then one day, our friendship would end, coz I know I'd end up stealing her boyfriend. I am soooo much hotter than that Tinio girl. Was there ever any doubt, my Irish friend? ♥

by callboi

doubt never crossed my mind! and don't forget the power-packed shu uemura and kiehl's freebies. and make sure to knock on the door thrice for your line of coke. hehehe.

by paddy61

But of course! Miss you frahnd!

by callboi

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