I was eating jelly beans the other day in the pantry with Lonely Girl.
She was quiet and moody, not her usual chikadora-baklang-babae self.
"May problema ka ba?" I asked her, "Or meron ka lang ngayon?"
She sniffed, "Pareho. May problema ako at heavy flow din ako ngayon."
I gagged, "Yuckers! Kadiri ka talaga! Siguro umaapaw na yang napkin mo."
"Gaga! Naka-diaper ako," she laughed.
"Talaga???" I was scandalized.
"Joke lang, bakla ka," she teased, "Kurutin kita sa balls mo eh."
"Subukan mo, gugupitin ko nipples mo," I teased back, "Eh ano bang problema mo maliban sa heavy flow in between your white thighs?"
She was silent for a few seconds, and then she said, "Hiwalay na kami ni Lonely Boy."
"Huwaaat? Bakeet?" I asked, although nagkukunyari lang ako na shocked ako. Lonely Girl's bestfriend had already informed me fifteen minutes ago about the breakup. Gusto ko lang magpractice ng aking theatrical talents.
"Hay basta, mahabang story," Lonely Girl said, trying her best to look strong and nonchalant, "kung hindi lang siya sup, nakuuu, sinigawan ko na siya kanina sa floor."
"Paigsiin mo ang mahabang istorya," I told her.
She looked straight at me and said, "Babalik na raw siya sa asawa niya."
I coughed. Lonely Girl smiled at me, "Alam mo naman di ba na may asawa siya?"
I nodded, "I knew, pero ang alam ko, technically, di pa sila kasal, or something. Di ako sure eh. Ang alam ko lang, may anak sila at magkasama sila sa iisang bahay."
She was quiet. She just kept munching.
"So, paano niya sinabi sa iyo?" I asked her, softly.
Surprisingly, she laughed, albeit bitterly, "Tinext sa akin ng gago."
"The nerve!" I said.
Lonely Girl nodded, "I know, pero it's just the way he is. Alam mo namang di confrontational na tao yun eh. And besides, ever since our so-called relationship started, alam ko nang di siya magtatagal. It wasn't forever."
I was quiet.
She went on, "Unang-una, may pamilya na siya. Pangalawa, agent ako, sup siya. Pangatlo, maganda ako, common lang ang face niya..."
"Ang taraaaay! May bitterness!" I laughed.
"Eh ganun talaga eh..." Lonely Girl quipped.
"So, anong theme song ng buhay mo ngayon?" I asked her.
"Hano pa nga ba eh di Hiram!" she giggled.