"Oh, as if you had no choice? There's a moment, there's always a moment, I can do this, I can give into this, or I can resist it, and I don't know when your moment was, but I bet you there was one."
- Natalie Portman, "Closer".
Yeah, and goddammit ole Nat was right.
There was a moment. It happened last night. I could have stopped it. But nooooo, I just had to close my eyes, and leap.
Like the blind fool that I've always been (honestly, I thought I'd learned my lesson, really), I jumped, leaped, soared, catapulted, somersaulted, cartwheeled, tumbled, slipped, slid, plonked, flopped, and most unusually fell into something that's surely going to bring many a sleepless night to my already sleep-deprived brain.
Why why why did I do it? The moment the deed was done, I thought to myself, "Is this wrong?"
And I couldn't answer my consciousness. I didn't know if what we did was wrong, but it certainly didn't feel right.
How does that old Bachelor Girl song go again? "I walked under a bus..." right? Shit, that's exactly how it felt, man.
Is it going to end up just like everything else that happened before? Do you know how happy I was last Saturday night? With you?
You served me breakfast the next morning. It was really sweet. Even if it was a bit matabang, I loved it. Look, I even took a picture of it using your phone (I also emailed it to myself, using your phone. Sorry, 8210 lang phone ko).
We're friends. That much, I am sure. But what happens now?