A Travellerspoint blog

Happy Happy Joy Joy...

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This is the fictional conversation that's going on in my head:

"Kumain ka na ba, Bookie?" tanong ni Clang.

Sumisinghot pa ako, "Hindi pa po."

"May dala akong apple-lemon crumble cake for you!" sabi niya, sabay labas ng higanteng tupperware na may lamang apple-lemon crumble cake for me.

"Yey!" sabi ko, pumapalakpak.

Habang ngumunguya, titingin ako kay Clang, "Birthday mo bukas."

"I know," sagot niya, nakangiti.

"Wala akong perang pang-regalo," sabi ko, malungkot ang boses, "Pwede mo bang hintayin ang akinse?"

"Wag mo isipin yun," sagot niya, habang kinukuha ako ng tubig, "Basta ubusin mo yan."

"Gusto mo i-prito ko na lang yung taba ni Gian tapos ihanda ko sa mga bisita mo?" tanong ko.

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She puts her finger on her chin and thinks for a second, "Hmmmm, wag na lang. Maybe next time."

I think again, and then ask her, "Gusto mo patabain ko si Potchi tapos asar-asarin natin siya na di na niya kamukha si Anne Curtis?"

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She laughs, "That would be too cruel."

I am silent for a moment, and then, "Wala talaga ako ma-regalo sayo eh."

She smiles, "Basta ubusin mo yang cake mo."

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Wala talaga akong pera ngayon, Clang. Alam mo naman, end of month, bayaran ng renta sa haunted apartment ko. Pero if I did have money, I'd probably buy you flowers.

Happy birthday, Clang! I hope you know na mahal ka ng maraming tao, lalo na ako. Tulad ng matabang si Gian at ng supermowdel na si Potchi.

Posted by callboi 9:53 PM Archived in Gay Travel | Philippines Comments (16)

The Erect Effect...

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Dear beautiful readers,

This is quite a long email from a fan but I hope you'll read it through. It's really quite... interesting, ahehehe. I loved reading it and I hope you do, too. Plus, I'm curious as to what advise you would give to him.

Read on....

- bookie -

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hi bookie!

I don’t know if I need your advice, the advice of your most ‘expert’ friends or I just want someone to listen. Ewan ko. I’ve been reading your blog from the oldest entries up until the latest ones just to get through my shift on the 5th floor. Ang galing mo talaga, bookie! I want to tell you that personally kaso I’m easily intimidated with people that have a strong persona or loud voice, ehehe. Anyway, napapagod na kasi ako sa office and what’s worse is kahit mababait ang officemates ko (which is the normal excuse why some of us can’t leave) I never really had close ones kaya it really doesn’t help (no offense po, iba lang kasi yung mabait sila and at the same time kaibigang matalik mo rin and that their feelings would truly matter to you if ever you decide to leave). Kaya yun your blog is like a bible to me. Para bang isa na sa mga tools ko na binubuksan eh yung URL mo. So yun nga, in the end, I’m still the bored boring loner na gusto pa ring umalis. I’m hanging by the thread and slowly slipping away. Malamang kilala mo ako. I’m the ugly / loner ‘TE agent (yes bookie, pareho tayong may self-esteem problem, kidding!) na nasa sulok palagi. I think napagkamalan din akong in-the-closet but I’m not. I just don’t talk much kaya people think I was.

Ang haba ng opening ko no? Ang daming satsat. The thing is, medyo hardcore ang sasabihin ko, so I want you to at least feel familiar with me, kahit konti. Bakit ‘medyo’ hardcore? Read along.

It’s about this cute guy I saw in a social networking site (not the one you always mention on your blog {although, I’m a member of that too!} G4M ata or gayromeo yung madalas mong i-mention, ewan ko). He sent me a message replying to a message I’ve sent him weeks ago. He gave his number. Excited naman ako. Katatapos ko lang sabihin, through text, sa isang guy na na-meet ko sa G4M (at na-EB ko sa glorietta) na ayoko munang makipag-relasyon kasi natatakot pa akong makipagrelasyon (na totoo naman) pero ang dahilan talaga eh alang spark. Ayoko maniwala sa spark noon pero parang totoo pala. Ehehe. Pero pagkatapos na pagkatapos noon eh inimail ko agad si cute guy! Ang sama no? naging choosy pa ako eh ang pangit ko naman. (ang sama ko talaga, shet!) eh gusto ko yung isa eh. And so we decided to meet.

This is the second time na nakipagmeet ako using a dating site. 1st was with G4M guy, 2nd was this cute guy from another site. Nagdecide kami magmeet sa place ko sa vito cruz after ko magwork. Dayoff niya so masaya! Up until then at least.

Nung nagkita kami. Casual. Usap. Lunch. The works! Nanood kami ng corny dvd tapos, nacornihan kami. We decided to sleep. Na syempre hindi naman talaga sleep.

When we were doing the foreplay. Sobrang aggressive ko. Hindi ko akalain. Kasi ang alam ko as gayromeo account ko ‘more bottom’ ang nilagay ko. Yun ang lagi kong naiimagine kapag naghahanap na ako ng tipo ko. yung submissive ako. Now, Before I tell you the rest of the story please be reminded that I’m a virgin. The last intimate thing I did was French kiss with a US marine at Cebu on December 1, 2007 na may ka-live in na hooker (biro mo? mangaagaw lang ako sa hooker pa. ehehehe!). So parang kailangnan ko na talaga. Ahahaha! So balik tayo dun sa sobrang aggressive part. Yun na, hindi sya makahinga. Nakahiga kasi sya eh. Nadaganan ko ata masyado. Ginawa ko agad yung gusto kong gawin. Ang kumain ng Hungarian. Muwahaha! Sobrang ang tagal kong gusto gawin yun na I want him to finish right there, at that position. Pero he gave me a signal to slow down, ayaw niyang matapos agad. When he was about to give me a ‘head’. That bad thing happened. Let’s put it this way… my genitals failed me. Kaya ko sabing ‘medyo’ kanina kasi we never really finished.

I don’t know what happened, bookie. I liked him. I know he tried his best pero wala talagang ‘sale’. Ehehe. After minutes. Nakita ko sa kanya ang disappointed look. Ang tagal kong inantay yun. Bakit ganun? Ewan ko. Aargh! I tried to ask myself anung rason. Here are the possibilities:

1. 24 hours na akong gising before we did it. I’ve asked a healthy hetero-guy. He said he still could do it kung merong available. Well, he’s a guy and I’m gay, he’s healthy and I smoke 7 cigs a shift as my food. You judge. Tanungin mo nga gay friends mo. What’s their take on this?

2. Mahiyain ako. That’s my nature. Most or the time I couldn’t even urinate at the urinal. Kailangan sa cubicle, otherwise, hindi talaga ako makakaihi. Hindi ko pa ata kayang maging hubad sa harap ng tao. Anu pang ikakahiya ko eh hubo’t hubad nako nun. Shet.

3. I’m neurotic. A bit. Just my own diagnosis. I tend to think of my problems more and more. I would tend to have both daydreams and nightmares of one specific frustration. Like the recent one I’ve been telling my friends. I lie awake (and when I say lie awake I MEAN lie awake, no moving-out-of-bed-stuff) for more that six hours thinking when will I be able to buy my dream PC. That same early morning after I fell asleep I had a nightmare that I was being robbed-off my ‘dream’ PC and I woke up screaming and sweaty. Ayaw na talaga akong patulugin ng mga frustrations ko, and that's just one of 'em. Sabi nila when you’re doing the deed, focus on the pleasure, don’t think of anything else. Hindi ko ata kaya. From the way I’m itemizing these possibilities, you can bet I’m still neurotic about what happened and OC too!

4. A best friend of mine said: ‘you need to focus on your pleasure first’ sex is not just about the other but it’s about you too. Medyo tama sya because I was only focusing on his pleasure then. Ni hindi ko nga inimagine kung ano ang gagawin nya sakin eh.

5. Another friend told me that it’s about trust. Being that I’m a shy guy, I need to build trust through long-term relationships before I do it. Sa pagkakakilala nya raw sakin I’m not the type daw na mag-oopen up agad socially, maybe it applies to my sexual life as well. We need to take it slow, parang ganuna ata. I really can’t tell ‘cause it’s my first.

6. Baka naman lalaki ako at gusto ko talaga ng tahong… eeew (NO,NO,NO! Ayoko!)

7. O baka naman ‘Madonna Whore’ syndrome. Yung tipong hinahangaan mo lang kasi ang gwapo, ang ganda ng katawan pero sobrang nirerespeto mo na ayaw mong bastusin. Imposible… sinubo ko na yung Hungarian eh anu pang respeto dun. Ehehehe.

8. O baka baog ako. Hindi ko ata kaya tanggapin ‘to.

Ang daming possibleng dahilan at lahat naglalaro sa isip ko ngayon. I was lucky that he is willing to stay with me ‘till we work it out. As of the meantime nagpipigil muna ako hanggang magkita kami ulit. Baka kailangan ko lang ma-excite. Ang daming kong sinabing dahilan na baka nasagot ko na ang sarili kong tanong pero, your opinion would still matter to me bookie. Kahit hindi kita nakakausap sa ops.

Send me a message with your answer! ;)

Cheers!

Kalungkutan101

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Dear Kalungkutan101,

First of all, let me tell you that I really enjoyed reading your letter. It was... refreshing, to say the least. :)

Ang haba ng email mo, marse. I definitely sense the neuroses and OC-ness in you.

I won't try to guess who you are sa team natin, pero I have a vague idea na.

Anyway, in regards to your failure to "raise the flag", something you wrote kinda struck me as the possible reason for it.

Marami kang reasons na na-propose pero I think they are just the footnotes of the real problem.

Sabi mo di ba you're more of a bottom, and that you sincerely like being submissive and being dominated.

Don't you get it?

Maybe you don't like being "serviced"?

Kumbaga, ang gusto mo, ikaw ang kumakain, at ayaw mo ng ikaw ang kinakain.

Gets?

I've known homosexuals na ganoon ang trip. Gusto nila, sila ang lumuluhod at sumasamba, dehins nila trip ang reciprocation. They're all about the worshipping.

And almost all of them are submissive bottoms.

Don't quote me on this, but I have a feeling that submissive bottoms like the idea that they are the "females" in the bedroom, and their fantasy is na straight ang guy na dino-do nila. And as we all know, no straight guy would ever eat a meaty banana.

It kinda screws up the "straight-guy fantasy" if your partner suddenly exhibits signs na mas hayok pa siya sa nota kesa sa iyo, di ba? Maybe that's the reason na hindi tumayo ang sagisag ng iyong laman. Baka na-off ka.

Pero again, don't quote me on that. That's just a theory of mine.

I'm sure there are others out there that are even weirder.

Let's see what the readers have to say.

Readers, care to comment?

Love, lust, and lechon,

- bookie -
akosicallboi@gmail.com

Posted by callboi 1:19 AM Archived in Gay Travel | Philippines Comments (7)

From 1am to 12am...

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Alam niyo, bihira akong umattend ng party.

Di talaga ako mahilig eh. Pero last Saturday, pinakanta ko ang atay ko sa dami ng alak na ininom ko.

As soon as we ended our shift at 1am, dumiretso na kami sa Top Grill sa Jupiter Ave. for our teammate Matchan's birthday inuman.

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Nakapunta na ba kayo dun? Ok siya, hindi siya posh pero malinis naman at reasonable naman ang prices.

Nakailang pitcher kami ng Mai Tai. Syempre pa, laseng-laseng na ang kinalabasan namin.

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Ito yung birthday girl. Di ko na maalala kung bakit ganito ang itsura niya sa pic. I think she was asking for more beer.

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Ito si Mai, isang ka-teammate. Nakakadalawang bote pa lang siya ng beer, nagwawala na. Umaakyat sa upuan at sumasayaw.

After ng Top Grill, around 6am, at gumagapang na sa sahig ang mga babaeng ka-team namin, dumiretso na kami sa Cavite, para naman sa birthday party ng anak isa sa ka-team namin.

Bumabagyo pa noon ha, ganoon kami katakaw sa pagkain. Kahit may bagyo, lulusong kami basta may lafang.

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Dahil pagod kami, pag dating namin sa bahay nila, na-borlogs muna kami.

Ang bait nga ng hostess namin na si Baler eh. Sabi niya, "Sige, matulog muna kayo, gigisingin ko na lang kayo pag may pagkain na."

Para lang kaming mga pinapatabang baboy. Pagkakain, tulog uli.

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Ito ang tiyan ni Mai. Proud siya diyan. Pinaghirapan niyang ma-attain yan.

Around 6pm, balik Makati na naman kami. May isa pa kasing party eh. This time, sa penthouse ng BSA Towers sa may Ayala, at 8pm.

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Sushality ang party. May open bar by Sober Club.

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Ganda pa ng view!!

They had the best drinks ever! Ang tsalap!

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Ang tsalap din ng bartender!

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Merong pa-effect yung bartender na drink na i-squeeze yung drink sa mouth mo, tapos...

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Sisindihan ng lighter! Galing!

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Binalak talaga ng cutie na bartender na lasingin ang mga girls.

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Natalo ako sa isang drinking game, kaya ang parusa: uminom ng isang tabo ng liquor! Twenty seconds after doing this, dumiretso ako sa banyo at nag-suka. Yuckers ever.

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At dahil cute ang bartender, maraming girls ang nagparamdam sa kaniya.

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Best party ever!

Posted by callboi 10:58 PM Archived in Gay Travel | Philippines Comments (16)

Isang Eksena Sa Yosi Area...

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5AM, Sunday morning, my station:

"Pwede mo ba akong samahan mag-yosi?" ang tanong niya sa akin, nakatayo sa may tagiliran ko.

I didn't need to look at him to know who he was. I easily recognized his voice, plus, alam ko ang pabango niya. Benetton Cold. One of my favorite scents.

We haven't talked in quite a while, and now inaaya niya akong mag-yosi. Weird.

"You don't smoke," ang sagot ko, nakatingin pa rin sa monitor ko, not looking at him.

He laughed a little, and said, "I know. Pero I like to pretend I do."

Aaminin ko, my heart stopped the second na nabosesan ko siya. He has that effect on me.

Thirty seconds later, nasa yosi area na kami.

Malamig sa yosi area, parang mas malamig pa kesa sa loob ng office. Malakas kasi ang hangin. O baka dahil magpapasko na. O baka naman dahil kabado lang ako.

Nagsindi ako ng yosi ko.

"Nagyoyosi ka pa rin pala," sabi niya.

Bumuga ako ng usok, "Pag natetense lang."

Tumawa siya, "So tense ka ngayon?"

Tumango ako.

"Bakit?" tanong niya.

Tumingin ako sa kaniya, "Dahil sa iyo."

Natahimik siya.

After a moment, nagsalita siya, "Bakit ka ba galit sa akin, Books?"

Hindi ako sumagot. Nakatingin ako sa Buendia, pinapanood ang mga nagmamarathon ng madaling-araw sa kalsada. Iniisip ko kung nararamdaman din nila ang lamig na nararamdaman ko ngayon.

Kinalabit niya ako, "Huy. Bakit ka galit sa akin?"

Nagkibit-balikat ako, "Hindi ko alam eh."

Huminga siya ng malalim, at humalukipkip, "I don't like us not talking."

"Ako rin," sagot ko, pero sa isip ko, sana di ko na lang sinabi yun.

"Galit ka ba talaga?" tanong niya.

Umiling ako, "Hindi."

"Eh bakit ganito na tayo?"

Ilang beses kong pinaraktis sa ulo ko ang mga linyang sasabihin ko sa kaniya kapag nagkaroon ako ng pagkakataon na makausap siya. Alam na alam ko ang dapat kong sabihin. Memorado ko na ang bawat syllable na dapat mamutawi sa bibig ko, ang mga kilos ng mga kamay ko for emphasis. Pero ngayong kaharap ko na siya, di ko magawa. Di ko magawang sabihin sa kaniya na kulang ang mga salitang pwede kong sabihin para i-explain sa kaniya ang nararamdaman ko.

Gusto kong sabihin sa kaniya na kulang ang lahat para sa akin. Pero di naman niya kasalanan yun eh. Tanga lang talaga ako.

Wala talaga akong masabi sa kaniya. Kasi nahihiya ako. Kaya mas maganda nang magkunyari akong galit kesa sa aminin ang totoo.

"Miss na ki-"

Pero bago pa niya natapos ang sasabihin niya, binuksan ko na ang pinto ng yosi area, at nagmadaling lumabas.

I didn't want to hear that from him. Anything but that.

Hindi siya sumunod sa akin. Hindi niya ako pinigilan.
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"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."

- Martin Luther King Jr.

Posted by callboi 3:06 PM Archived in Gay Travel | Philippines Comments (24)

Tuyo Na Ang Batis Ko...

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May I be honest?

I haven't been blogging lately because... well... because I don't know what to write.

I haven't been inspired to write anything for the past couple of weeks.

Sa totoo lang ang hirap mag-isip ng isusulat.

I don't know what's wrong with me.

My friend Aubrey says it's because na-pepressure daw ako sa mga readers ko.

Sabi ni Ina Magenta, "Baka constipated ka lang. Uminom ka ng Dulcolax."

Sabi ni Schoolboi, "Don't worry. It will pass."

Sabi ni Pasha, "I hate that I'm so busy that we can't hangout. Am on my way to a photoshoot."

Bantayan niyo nga pala commercial ni Pasha, Nestea Iced Tea. May hawak daw siyang bola. Kung kaninong bola, di ko alam.

Anyway, ayun nga, hindi ako inspired magsulat lately.

Wala bang chismis sa office lately, you ask? Meron, actually.

Andami. Kadalasan nga, tungkol sa isang ka-team ko. Matagal ko na siyang gustong i-blog.

Kakaibang karakter eh. Sarap upakan. Sarap tapakan. Nagbabasa rin siya ng blog ko. Kaya ikaw, kung binabasa mo ito ngayon, ikaw nga ang pinapatamaan ko. IKAW.

Siguro, na-sense ng mga friends ko na si Baker Clang and Chef Ed na medyo depressed ako kaya inaya nila akong lumabas kahapon. Parang blowout na rin ang nangyari kasi natanggap silang pareho sa Marriot Hotel. Woohooo! Congrats!!

First, nilibre nila ako sa Brother's Burgers.

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Tapos nanood kami ng sine. 500 Days of Summer.

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It was really nice. You guys should go and see it.

After the movie, nilibre naman nila ako sa Red Mango, sa Greenbelt 3 cinema.

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I wasn't a big fan of frozen yogurt before I tried Red Mango.

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They have lots of toppings to choose from. You can choose up to a maximum of 5.

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I loved it! Super yum! And not that expensive. Plus, di ba healthy naman ang yogurt?

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You also get an awesome view of Greenbelt 5.

Anyway, mabalik tayo sa problema ko.

I'm really having trouble writing lately.

Kasi naman, pag-dating sa office, wala na ako sa mood magsulat.

Siguro kelangan ko na talagang bumili ng laptop.

Madalas kasi sa bahay ako nagakakaroon ng ideas na isulat eh.

Especially pag nakaupo ako sa kubeta. Sooobrang inspired ako.

In any case, dear readers, do you have any suggestions kung anung pwede kong isulat?

I'm open to anything, kahit R-18. :)

Posted by callboi 4:02 AM Archived in Gay Travel | Philippines Comments (25)

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