Call Center Confidential

Dear Callboi,

I dn't know if you remember me but the other day in the elevator I was wearing a green soccer shirt and dark blue denims and I smiled at you and you smiled back. Did you smile at me because: a) you were attracted to me (coz I am a bit of a cutie, they say), or b) because your used to smiling back at people who smile at you even if you don't know them, being as famous as you are in this building?

If it helps, it was in the morning that we met in the elevator, and you were accompanied by your chubby friend Giane.

I'm really curious.

love,

4th-floor-Cutie

Dear Cutie,

Natatandaan kita. "Italy" was written at the back of your green shirt, di ba?

Cute ka nga, I guess. Kamukha mo si Tobey Maguire, kung naging moreno si ate Tobey. At medyo payatot. Pero definitely cute.

I must have smiled kasi, lately, napapansin ko, mas maraming ngumingiti sa akin na di ko kilala sa elevator (and sa pantry, sa smoking area, at sa CR, which can be creepy). I assume kasi nababasa nila ang blog ko.

Sabi naman ni Gian, wag daw ako assuming. Feeling sikat daw ako. Pero what if I'm right? What if kaya ngumingiti sa akin ang ibang tao na di ko kilala is because kilala nila ako dahil sa blog? Baka sabihin nila suplado ako pag di ako nagsmile back.

Or baka kaya sila nangingiti ay dahil sa ilong ko na hugis volkswagen?

Pero kung sabagay, mas ok na isipin nila na suplado ako, wag lang "pasosyal". Di ba thetruth?

Hay naku, Cutie, maniwala ka sa akin. Sincere ako when I said na cute ka. And next time, pag nagkita tayo uli sa elevator, hindi lang ngiti ang gagawin ko.

May wave pa.

love, life, and lechon,

callboi♥
akosicallboi@gmail.com

Nag-ca-calls ka ba ngayon?

Tumayo ka at tignan mo ang sup mo sa station niya.

Mukha ba siyang nalilito?

Nalulungkot?

Or maybe... nag-iinit?

Baka sup mo ang friend kong si Maria.

Lately, napapansin ko na mas maraming tao ang nagkukuwento ng mga sikreto nila sa akin. Siguro gusto nilang ma-blog. Or siguro gusto lang nila ng outlet.

Katulad nitong kaibigan kong sup na si Maria.

Minsan, habang naghihintay ako ng mga pina-photocopy ko kay manong, di napigilan ni Maria na ikwento sa akin ang kanyang dillema.

"I'm human, natural lang naman siguro sa akin ang ma-attract sa agent ko, di ba?"

"Oo naman, natural na natural," ang sagot ko.

"Then why am I so ashamed at myself?" tanong ni Maria.

"Maybe because you know it's wrong for sups to have a relationship with their agents?" I replied, and added some more, "Maybe because virginal ang image mo?"

She slapped my arm, "Fine fine fine... I know maraming reasons kung bakit mali yung nararamdaman ko, pero girl, alam mo naman na hindi ako normal na ganito, di ba? I've never claimed that I have, ummm..., lusted after someone!"

Which is totally true, actually. She's not exactly mahinhin, but she's no whore either. I've never heard her say that she was lusting after a guy, let alone an agent of hers!

"What's so bad if you have the hots for an agent of yours?" I asked her.

"Ang problema kasi, halata niya yata! I actually think he's flirting with me!" she answered, flustered.

I raised an eyebrow, "Ows? Anong ginagawa ni Mr. Boylet?"

"Subtle things lang naman. He texts me everyday, asking if kumain na ba ako, kung kamusta na ako," Maria enumerated, "Once, naglagay siya ng post-it note sa loob ng pedestal ko, may nakasulat na "I love your smile!"

"Pumalakpak naman ang pekpek mo?" I teased.

"Slight lang, slight," she continued, "Tapos nung isang araw, after shift, kaming dalawa na lang natira sa area amin, lumapit siya sa station ko tapos inaya akong kumain sa labas."

"Oh, anong sabi mo?" I asked.

"Um-oo ako. Nung nasa elevator na kami, nabanggit niya yung girlfriend niya."

"Excuse me? May girlfriend na si Mr. Boylet?" I asked incredulously.

"Apparently!" she answered.

"So anong ginawa mo?" I asked.

"I made up some excuse and umalis ako," Maria said, "Hello! Hindi ako kabit no?"

"Hindi ka nga kabit, makati ka lang," I joked.

"Hahaha! Crazy ka," she said, "Anyways, as soon as I left, he texted me. Is there anything wrong daw, mga ganyung epek."

"Anung sabi mo?"

"Di ako nagreply," she said.

In fairness naman kasi, si Mr. Boylet, malakas talaga ang dating. He's tall, dark, and medyo-medyo handsome. Emphasis on the dark. Dark-skinned talaga siya, as in maitim. Pero the good kind of maitim. Yung tipong dark chocolate ba... sweet sa tongue. Total opposite siya ni Maria, na mestiza.

"Alam mo ba, there are times na parang gusto ko na lang lumuhod sa harap ni Mr. Boylet? Para kasing ang sarap-sarap niya eh," Maria noted.

"Remember, sis, the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice! Ang tanong: uhaw ka ba?"

She laughed, "Sa kaniya lang!"

"What do you plan to do now?" I asked her.

She thought for a second, "Palipat kaya ako sa GY shift? Para maiwasan ko na siya?"

I didn't answer. Di ko alam ang sagot eh. If I were in her place, malamang pumatol na ako. But then again, that's me. Joke lang.

Last Saturday, kasama ko ang President at Vice-President ng aking fan's club, si Gian and Kaye, sa Salcedo Park. Have you guys been there? I swear, it's one of my favorite places. It's only open every Saturday. And contrary to popular rumors, hindi lahat expensive dun. Maraming cheap and delicious food kaya dun.

Well, to be honest, merong mga stalls na exaggerated talaga ang rates. Katulad nitong mga pies dun sa French Culinary store, ang mahal!!! Pati yung mga pastries and cakes nila, nakakadugo ng ilong ang presyo. Ang isang order ng lasagna nila ay P250!!! Shets.

Pero di naman lahat ng food dun ay mahal. Meron dung Ineng's Barbecue.

Meron ding prutas para sa mga nagfe-feeling magpaka-healthy.

May sariwang lamang-dagat, pero wala nga lang lutuan. Di naman siya tulad ng dampa eh.

Parang ang sarap ng jumbo sausages noh? Kakatakam.

Meron ding dimsum stall; not very affordable though. Their order of six siomais is worth P95. Pero super sarap.

Meron din palang mga mandurukot dun sa park. Free of charge.

Eto yung fave kong mini-ensaymadas. So cute and tasty. Parang little balls of heaven. I love balls.

Here's me and Gian trying to decide kung ilang kilo ng sisig ang kakainin namin.

Pero in the end, lechon ang in-order ni Gian. Parang Silence of the Lambs lang.

Ako chorizo meal ang in-order ko dahil natukso ako sa sign nila. (nakalimutan ko kung anung kinain ni Kaye. Nilagang mani lang yata.)

I was going to order this which I thought were chicken wings but then...

I saw this sign right underneath the dish. Yuck.

Si Kaye nakakita ng cute na "medyo revealing" na top. Yun pala bag lang siya.

Tapos, dahil mga girls kaming tatlo, naghahanap rin kami siyempre ng cute na guys sa market. Inginuso ni Kaye ang isang guy na well-built and definitely cute, wearing a blue shirt.

"Cute siya!" sabi ko.

"Straight ba yan or bading?" ang tanong ni Gian.

Later on, nakita uli namin yung guy, at nakuha ko ang pic na ito:

Shets lang.

Dear Ate Bookie,

Una sa lahat, magandang umaga sa'yo at sa iyong mga trainees. Sana'y nasa maaliwalas na kalagayan ang iyong mga baby fats.

Ako po ay isang empleyado ng parehong kompanyang iyong pinapasukan, at sa pareho ding account although nasa isang arm po ako at hindi email po. No, hindi po related sa magiging pagbabago sa pangalan ng kompanya to Aegis PeopleSupport ang problema ko. Pero, hopefully mapagpapayuhan mo pa rin ako.

Hindi ko po alam kung isa itong sumpa o gift na maituturing, pero simula pa po noong magbinatilyo ako (which is a few years ago..... or so) naging lapitin na po ako ng mga bading at mga pokpok (hindi naman yung talagang nagbebenta ng panandaliang aliw kundi yung mga medyo easy to get ba). Wala po akong problema doon, except noong una. Kasi sabi nila pag gustuhin ka daw ng mga bading either gwapo ka daw talaga o kaya bading din ang tingin nila sa'yo; at alam ko namang hindi ako gwapo kaya it sort of bothered me for sometime. Then I got over it as I figured I am confident about my sexuality.

Sa ngayon po ay maligaya ako sa married life at mahal na mahal ko po ang asawa ko. Pero sa mahigit dalawang taon kong pagtatrabaho dito, medyo may mga tukso na paminsan-minsan ay dumarating, at sa kabutihang palad naman ay nalalagpasan ko naman. Alam nyo naman siguro dito sa industry natin ay marami ang mga liberated ang pananaw patungkol sa sex-life. Meron akong ka-team mate na lagi-lagi nang nakikipag-flirt sa akin, which I previously have taken for granted kasi alam naman nila na I am happily married and that I do love my wife so much, at dahil din sa karaniwang she makes a pass on me pag may ibang tao lang.

Ngunit datapwa't subalit, itong mga nakaraang araw, ay medyo nag-iiba na ang ihip ng hangin. Me mga confessions syang inemail sa akin (webmail po, hindi company email) at mga indecent proposals pang kasama. Now, this of course puts her teasing me into new light as she have rather become more aggressive. Meron kasi kaming upcoming team building and she is sort of trying to tell me not to bring my wife for us to have time to be together. Sa ngayon, tinatrato kong parang mga biro pa rin ang mga messages nya despite her insisting that she is serious about it.

Kailangan ko lang po ng payo regarding sa decision na gagawin ko. Kasi po sa kanyang proposal ay one night stand lang daw ito and she also is set to marry her boyfriend comes December. Dapat ko ba syang pagkatiwalaan at pagbigyan? Dahil sa totoo lang ay medyo bumibigay na din ako. Sexy po at maganda ang asawa ko, at ganun din po ang babaeng ito. Habang lumalapit ang araw ng team building namin ay lalo akong nato-torment dahil sa kinukulit nya na ako. I have tried weighing both the pros and the cons, pero nananaig pa rin ang konsensya at moralidad ko. Although minsan naman ay medyo nadadarang na rin ako pag medyo may init akong nararamdaman sa katawan. Isa sa pinagpipilian kong options ay pagbigyan siya na magkasarinlan kami, pero hindi mangyayari ang dapat mangyari; bagkos ay kakausapin ko siya at ipapabatid kung gaano ko kamahal ang asawa ko at ayokong dungisan ang aming pagsasama.

Maraming salamat po sa maipapayo nyo. Sana po ay pagpalain kayo ng Poong Maykapal at bigyan ng one-year supply ng sari-saring talong at hotdogs.

Sumasainyo sa hirap at sarap,

Hotdog Na Nadadarang Sa Bonfire

Dear Hotdog,

Salamat sa pangungumusta mo sa aking mga baby fats. Mabuti naman sila. Lalong lumulusog. Kamusta rin daw.

In a weird sense, pareho tayo. Lapitin ng mga pokpok. Ang pagkakaiba nga lang, sa akin, totoong mga pokpok ang lumalapit. Alam mo ba, dalawang beses na akong nilapitan at inalok ng panandaliang aliw sa Malate ng mga callboy? Isang beses lang akong tumanggi. Joke lang.

Alam mo, pag lapitin ka ng mga bading, dapat matuwa ka. Ibig sabihin mukha kang pumapatol ng bading. Ooops. I mean, ibig sabihin nun may itsura ka. Pero sabi nga nila, lahat naman tayo may itsura eh. May mga iba nga lang na kakaiba ang itsura. Kung confident ka na straight ka, eh di magaling! Ako nga paminsan nacoconfuse pa rin kung bading ba ako o hindi eh. During times like that, I just take a look at a picture of my crush, Victor Basa, and then nawawala lahat ng doubts ko, ahihihi. Nawawala rin ang urbanidad ko.

Your story reminds me of this article I read sa Inquirer which claimed na ang mga call centers daw ay havens of adultery and other illicit love affairs.

Nung nabasa ko yon, naisip ko bigla ang lahat ng mga tsismis na narinig ko about agents and supervisors and yes, even managers having inter-office relationships with each other.

Ang tanong: Bakit, sa call centers lang ba nangyayari ang mga ganito? I’m sure kahit saang office environment may mga ganyang issue, mula sa mga bangko hanggang sa mga kusina ng Mcdo.

Mabalik tayo sa issue mo. You say you have this teammate na kating-kati na sa iyo. And you are starting to weaken against her sexual advances, right? And it all boils down to the team outing na kung saan kinakabahan kang magaganap ang di dapat maganap?

Ang totoo, alam nating lahat na ang sagot ay NO. Kung mahal mo ang asawa mo, makakayanan mong tiisin ang tukso.

Pero ang totoo rin, alam nating lahat na ang sarap matukso. Sino ba namang gago ang magsasabi na hindi masaya at ubod ng sarap ang ma-seduce ng isang taong may karapatang mang-seduce?

Masaya siya pero mahirap. And ultimately, you are but human. Natural na matukso ka. Don’t think too badly of yourself for being tempted. Men are often ruled by that thing between their legs. And I’m not talking about balls here.

Ang hindi natural eh yung patulan ang mga ganyang temptation. We are measured by the temptations we refuse to succumb to, I always say.

Sa environment natin dito sa opisina, madali tayong makalimot. It’s like we’re totally disconnected from the outside world and the people around us become our second family… and in some cases, our lovers.

Hindi mahirap isipin na matutukso ka sa isang taong lagi mong kasama. Pero mahirap isipin na papatulan mo ang ganyang tao kung meron ka namang asawa na maganda at sexy, as you said.

Tsong, siguro nga dapat kausapin mo na ng masinsinan yang babaeng yan. Sa pantry kung saan maraming tao ha. Wag dun sa pribadong lugar. Baka kung ano pa mangyari. Kung kelangan mo ng chaperone, sabihan mo lang ako. Sasama ako, may dala pang notepad. Para makapag-take notes ako, ahehehe.

In regards to your team outing, sumama ka pa rin. Masaya yan. Pero iwasan mo na lang siya. Stick to the group para walang tukso. And DON’T GET DRUNK.

Other than that, I’m sure you’ll do fine. Or I may be wrong and you’ll do her, instead.

Either way, I can only remind you na lust is natural. Nothing to be ashamed of. Pero ang pagpatol sa iba? That’s something totally different.

Yours in lust, love, and lechon,

callboi♥
akosicallboi@gmail.com

Friends, sorry kung matagal akong di nakapag-post. Alam niyo naman, medyo busy ang paaralan lately.

Anyways, this is my song of the week. And it's for you, P. I'm sorry I forgot the date.

BOY
(ni Ate Timmy Cruz)

Oh, what a night
‘Di ako makatulog,
Parang tukso, tanging laman ng isip
Wala kungdi ikaw.

Bakit ganito?
I can’t get over you,
Kahit sarili ko’y ayaw maniwala
Sa nangyayaring ito.

CHORUS:

I love you, boy
If you only knew,
Naiinis na ako sayo,
Sobrang manhid ka at di mo
Napapansin.

(Oh) I love you, boy
Kung alam mo lang
Ang puso koay nagdaramdam
Hanggang kailan ba ako ay
Maghihintay?

My foolish heart
Ikaw ang may kasalanan,
Kung ikaw ba’y tumahimik na
Lamang
Ako’y di maguguluhan,

O sayang lang
If I were not a woman,
Sana’y noon pa may aking
Nasabi
Ikaw ay aking mahal.

(Repeat CHORUS)

BRIDGE:

I’m head over heels, babe
I love you so much,
I’m going crazy.

There comes a time in everyone's life wherein you have to face that which you fear the most.

You may tremble.

You may cry.

You may even wet yourself a little in the process.

But in the end, facing your fear is that one defining moment, that one second in your otherwise dreary existence which screams out to the world, "I will not fade quietly into the night!"

This is why, my dearest readers, I have decided to write about something I have been dreading for the longest time ever since I laid eyes on it.

It is a picture.

I assure you, it is not me.

I repeat. NOT ME.
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Putangina mas makinis ako sa kaniya ha!

Hello and welcome to my 1st year anniversary entry!

Dahil sa isang taon din tayong nagsama-sama dito si isinumpang blog na ito, I have decided to offer you, my dearest readers, a treat! For the past couple of weeks, I have been interviewing several people on the floor (boy, girl, bakla, tomboy, janitors, guards, manong food provider, etc.) and asking them who they think are the... ehem... top ten most good-looking guys on the floor. Now, I set a few reminders for my interviewees. Kelangan ang pipiliin nila ay:

a) currently an employee of PS,

b) same account, and

c) dapat willing malagay sa blog na ito.

So, without further ado, I present to you, Callboi's Top Ten!!!

10) Our number ten candidate is known on the floor simply as "Capco", his last name. I've always said that he kinda looks like Robin Padilla.

I am not exactly sure if Capco is single, pero kiber naman ako dyan kasi straight siya kaya he's out of our market, mga badets.

Here he is with one of his fans, fatlilgurl.

He definitely has that bad boy image going for him, and his quiet demeanor most indubitably adds to his market value (according sa mga female agents sa floor, anyway).

09) Our number nine candidate is known as Chris. To be honest, I barely know this guy; pero siyempre, napapansin ko siya sa floor. Hindi dahil sa type ko siya or anything (at hindi rin ako defensive ha!) pero dahil minsan ko siyang nakasamang mag-inuman and I guess medyo mahiyain siya kasi he barely spoke a word back then.

But apparently, mabenta ang lolo mo, specially sa Sales Department ng account namin. Andaming bumoto sa kaniya eh. For a straight guy, he's pretty popular.

I guess his mestizo looks and soulful singing voice doesn't hurt his chances at being an eligible bachelor.

08) Boy-next-door Andre is our eighth candidate. For a straight guy, this boy sure is fashionable. And believe me, we all know he's straight coz we know his girlfriend, who also works in the same account.

An anime lover and an excellent Subject Matter Expert, Andre is "cuteness made flesh", according to his fellow teammate.

07) Marlon, my co-trainer, was consistently chosen by his peers.

Although nahirapan akong kunan siya ng picture dahil napakahiyain ng lolo mo, eventually, kinuha niya rin ang camphone sa akin at siya na ang nag-take charge sa kaniyang pictorial.

It was rumored na kaya nandito sa list na ito si Marlon ay dahil I "krass" him daw. That is not true. Ang kaibigan niyang si Borj ang crush ko.

06) This is Eric, a Sales supervisor, and in fairness, bagay siya talaga sa Sales kasi napakabenta ng lolo mo. The picture says it all, don't you think? Ito lang ang pic niya na nakuha ko online. Kung gusto niyo pa, humingi kayo sa kaniya. AM shift siya. GY ako kaya wag kayong tumingin sa akin.

Pero ang cute niya talaga noh?

05) Friend ko ito, si Aris. A relative newbie on the floor, this guy was immediately assigned to be a trainer due to his undoubtedly exceptional skills.

Alam niyo ba, andaming nangarir dito kay Aris. Andaming nanligaw at nagpacute sa kaniya. But this boy never wears his heart on his sleeve, he's been astoundingly quiet about his... ummm... lovelife, or lack thereof.

04) This is Sir EJ, as he is fondly called by all agents on the floor, is probably one of the most approachable supervisors on the floor, not to mention one of the most makisig.

This simple picture above does not do him justice. Believe me, this guy has one of the best pair of pecs I have ever seen. Parang... parang... parang antibay niya. Ahihihi. Kaya lang straight siya eh. Shets. Shets talaga.

03) My so-called Prince Chubby. My Mon. Este, Mon lang pala. Although lagi akong nalilink dito kay Mon, I want to tell everyone na walang katotohanan ang mga tsismis.

Here's a pic of Mon with some girl. She looks kinda familiar. Hmp, mang-aagaw siya basta.

Alam niyo ba, flawless ang skin nitong si Mon eh. Parang gatas na condensed lang. Parang cotton made flesh. Parang crush ko yata si Mon. Pero hindi. Over na ako. That was years ago. I must let go. I must... Goddamnit.

02) Our number two candidate is our resident hunky-and-silent manager, Andro.

If still waters run deep, then this guy is an abyss.

I'm sure the reason why a lot of people chose him is because of his silent disposition and I guess, dahil sobrang straight talaga ng lolo mo. Alam mo naman dito sa floor natin, uhaw ang mga tao sa tunay na straight.

According to my interviewees, Andro has that coolness factor that we've all strived to achieve since high school. How does he do it? Nobody knows. Pero wala tayong magagawa. Astig siya eh.

And the person who tops our list...

1) Steven a.k.a. Cowboy.

An Operations Manager who supervises his account at night...

And runs marathons during the day.

A self-confessed outdoorsman, this guy has travelled all over the world (or maybe baka sa Asia lang, I forgot the details of his trip eh) during his vacation days.

Why is he number one?

Oh ano? Buhay ka pa?

Alam niyo ba, my blog will be turning one year old this Aug.11?

At dahil diyan, meron akong special blog entry this Monday...

Abangan...

Pag-pasok ko kanina sa office, malungkot ako for reasons I care not to share.

Depressed ang drama ko kanina talaga.

And then, I checked my emails, and one blog reader sent me the pic below, and it truly made my day.

Thanks, Sonny! Napatawa mo ako dito. Although, yung nipples ko ay mas perky in real life.

Ladies and gentlemen, ang aking Song of the Week... walang pakialaman ha... may namimiss ako eh... shets.

"YOU"

You give me hope,
The strength, the will to keep on;
No one else can make me feel this way
And only you
Can bring out all the best I can do;
I believe you turn the tide
And make me feel real good inside.

You pushed me up
When I'm about to give up;
You're on my side when no one seems to listen
And if you go,
You know the tears can't help but show
You'll break this heart and tear it apart;
Then suddenly the madness starts

CHORUS:
It's your smile,
Your face, your lips that I miss,
Those sweet little eyes that stare at me
And make me say,
I'm with you through all the way.

'Cause it's you
Who fills the emptiness in me;
It changes ev'rything, you see,
When I know I've got you with me

You pushed me up
When I'm about to give up;
You're on my side when no one seems to listen
And if you go,
You know the tears can't help but show
You'll break this heart and tear it apart;
Then suddenly the madness starts

CHORUS:
It's your smile,
Your face, your lips that I miss,
Those sweet little eyes that stare at me
And make me say,
I'm with you through all the way.

'Cause it's you
Who fills the emptiness in me;
It changes ev'rything, you see,
When I know I've got you with me.

It's your smile,
Your face, your lips that I miss,
Those sweet little eyes that stare at me
And make me say,
I'm with you through all the way.

'Cause it's you
Who fills the emptiness in me;
It changes ev'rything, you see,
When I know I've got you with me.

Kayo? Anong song of the week niyo?